Some bits of this I have just put on the warped sense of humour thread but can't remember what i did and didn't and warned them I repeat myself cos I can't remember stuff any more and seem to have 2 different sets of people so doesn't matter I guess.... OH SHUT UP and get on with it! Sorry.... just seen nannyb has joined us over there on the dark side hooray!! anyway, back to blog...
Woke up feeling happy today and silly... I think the comments and you lot help a huge amount on that, but nice to wake happy rather than worry even if its 5am...
1. Fat Cat saga...
So, after Dr Crippen techniques not working and collisions with other cats, sulks, swearing etc etc we give up andI take fat cat back to vets for check up... he's completely freaked out by now (easily stressed cat). Puff, pant Hi vet... can't get tablets down him I gasp... Oh never mind I'll give you an injection... what me?? I've had enough recently thanks.. I can cope... just give me the pheromones...Oh sorry, she says, not you.. him. I can do a 2 week's worth of antibiotics in one go... here. What?? After world war 3 has been waging in our house between humans and cats and they are getting the upper hand.. and we are on our knees and praying to the great cat god in the sky and she solves it with a single injection!!!??? Ok, she explains, not as good.. worth a try etc etc. but stil!
So purse even lighter, nice vet's husband carries fat cat to car for me (thanks) and I buy a pheromone thingy- costs a fortune but cat is so freaked out and we are too soft and wondering if I can sniff it too and if it would work on me... So dump him through the door, and go off for coffee with friend... come back and P has plugged in pheromone thing... fat cat walks past it, gingerly steps up to it and has a sniff and then backs off with tail fuzzed up and runs out the door!! Only I could have a cat that is scared of the de-stress thingy!!!! (he's also scared of our doorstop) Other cat is so comatose with happiness already I fear he will not wake up.... I try a sniff, not worked on me yet but will keep trying....
2. Out for coffee... my town is very small- you know, one high street, everyone knows everyone ... and my attempts to stay incognito failed after P told his favourite check-out lady about my cancer (how sad are we that we have favourite check out ladies!!?) the whole town now seems to know. of course.. he had a complete stranger come up to him yesterday and say you're the man with the wife who has cancer aren't you? How is she? Weird isn't it... but nice too I guess and sort of glad that it is rare enough in our town to comment on.... anyway, despite what you might think, in some ways I am actualy quite shy and quite like to be able to walk down the street unnoticed.. not anymore...! I'm like a celebrity cos everyone looks at me and anyone who vaguely recognises me says 'you look well' etc... arrghh so puffing my way down the high street to meet friend and there is a parent of one of the boys I teach.. normally a little wave of recognition would be enough, if that... but not once you are cancer-woman (what are my special powers I wonder.. ha ha that's one to think of... ) so she crosses the street and we do the cancer-dance... head tilt.. how are you (emphasis on the are) Gentle half hug (anyone else get that feeling they think better not hug properly cos you might break?) I do the Oh you know, ok... head tilt back and she then starts saying how I must lie awake at night worrying if it has gone or not.. and I think oh dear, better not tell her I told P to wake me up in case I overslept and say yeah it can be hard sometimes..anyway, we do the pleasantries of hope you come back soon... kids miss you, feeble jokes etc and off she goes... think I will never to coffee shop alive at this rate... and hope I don't bump into boxer short sunshine man from yesterday as I wouldn't be able to keep my face straight...
Coffee is fairly civilised except for me offering to run over her husband for her (well, you would too if you met him) reckon i could plead with the judge... use the cancer card etc ....and in return she givies me a stern talking to about being unrealistic in my epectations of myself (she's a nurse in the local hospice so I listen to her) and promise I will go back and email boss and mention words to him such as phased returns etc and stop beating myself up for not being able to do the impossible etc... (see warped humour thread if you want the full list of what she said- I remember I wrote it there!) also promise to ask consultant what he thinks... stll convinced he will tell me I am a lightweight and should get back to work now.. (i know, I know, stupid My...)
Come home and solicitors phone...
3. House saga....
As I say this is a small town and all the solicitor's offices are all about within 5 doors of eachother... stern looks obviously paid off a bit as she phones and says she is posting something for me to sign before I go to Sweden just in case... then she says she will write to the other solicitor to ask about the hold up and chivvy them along.. thanks but.... write???
Are we in the 18th century still and I didn't notice?? I will get my goose and pluck a quill and prepare it with my penknife and then I will scribe a letter and then wait till a young lad with a forked stick passeth and offer him a groat to parry forth with said letter 3 doors down to await a penned response.....
she could pop next door and ask... email them, phone them... shout out the window would do it.. but no... i will write and post it!!!! aarrgghh!
anyway, at least she got the message and did something, quill or not....
took friend's advice reluctantly and emailed boss to say shall we talk about part time back up plans for me coming back in September? Being a teacher and an idiot, I was thinking, oh that's ok, i'll have the summer hols to get over treatment so can go back full time in September.. I actually thought I could go back to work when i could walk down the stairs again and was only on morphine at bedtime.. told you I was stupid... but scary nurse friend will check and knows my boss so have to do it. Now worried what the response will be.... silly cow I know..I know the head is very sympathetic and was probably thinking I was insane to contemplate it anyway, but also worried they might give bits of my job to others and I don't want that, or make me part time which I can't afford... but also a little relieved as I was telling them my job was impossible before i went off sick so probably a good thing to point out.. trouble is I can't get away from this mentality of the culture we live in where you work through illness and lunch is for wimps etc and I am invinsible and don't do illness (and didn't till now) and think that everyone will think I'm a lightweight if i don't go back full time 2 months after treatment finishes (plus no idea if its even worked yet so might be irrelevant anyway) sorry that was a bit of a ramlby rant... and | need a good kick up the backside and probably need to hear how long it took others to get back to work to make me feel as normal as I am ever going to feel... cancer or no cancer, lets face it, normal is never on the cards for me is it?
Good thing I say, cos I am in a good mood today and stupid email from boss no2 won't dent it.. I won't let him.... well might at 2am but not now... oH maybe the pheromones are working on me!!
Anyway, can't go back to work full time yet, when would I find time to talk rubbish with you lot??? ha ha and got roses to prune and bins to empty....
Think I'd better stop as you must still be building your stamina up and I don't want to get in a gloomy rant about work again....
Choccie medals and ice creams for finishers today...as its hot (or is that just me and a hot flush?) sign up and say what you want... magnum? mivvie? ..?
Love and hugs to you all
Little Myxxx
