The main idea of this came from an assembly I gave to my pupils a couple of weeks ago. After events of the last few days, I thought I needed to say it here too (tweaked a little so it makes sense to you lot). It is not funny. Normal service will be resumed next blog.
The day after I was diagnosed with cancer, I took my class camping for a week in Devon. I said to them John Lennon’s quote ‘Life is what happens when we are busy making other plans’ and that life was happening to me then.
So as you know I have been away with life that happened and here I am back starting to make other plans as I start to walk the path again in my life. It is a little bumpy but it is my path and I feel lucky and blessed to have this particular path to walk.
That might sound odd to some of you, so let me explain...
When I was a teenager, I wished my life away. I was a typical teenager... my life is so sad etc. (and maybe in my case it was ha ha) I was very busy making plans for the future and couldn’t wait to get there and leave school, leave home, leave some of the sadness and grieving and bad stuff. I wanted to go and get a job and do fun things. I missed a lot of the journey wishing for the goal and the destination of when I am grown up I will... and now I am grown up and my son is 20 and I wonder how come I ended up being old enough to have a 20 year old and where did all that time go and where did all that life go while I was busy making other plans?
We don’t know where we are going on our path through life, any of us. We all have our path and they will have their ups and downs and bumpy bits and all be different lengths. Some of us have had what we might think are more than our fair share of bumpy bits already and some if unlucky, (yes I did say unlucky) have had a smooth easy road with no hills or bumps. And we can look at others and think ‘why me’ or ‘lucky them’ or wish we had their path and destination rather than our own.
But we have been given our path to walk and that is that and I think a few bumps along the way are good.
It is Michaelmas time and when there is talk of courage and dragons. Our images of courage and courageous people are hulking great knights in shining armour with big swords or big beefy fighters... But courage is for all of us and not just for big beefy knights and it goes hand in hand with fear. When we are fearful and face that fear, whatever it is, we show courage and facing our dragons needs courage. so what gives us courage to walk that path when it gets bumpy and uncertain? I have discovered a few things do.
One is love. We are loved by family or friends and both if we are lucky and sometimes it is in the bumpy times when we find those who truly love us and offer to walk that path alongside us for a while even if it is hard going for them. Sometimes it is the unexpected who step forward to walk with us too. They are golden people and you should cherish them.
Another is laughter. I have never laughed so much as the last few months with a group of new friends I made which I will come back to later... and something my boss mentioned to us teachers at the beginning of term. Good memories. Good memories get us through the bad times and bumpy paths and they are collected in the good times and laughter and easy walking and can even be collected on the bumps if you have a friend by your side... (Hilary might be able to help me out here, being a literary type, but there is a character in a book by Dostoyevsky I think or Checkov that talks about having just one good memory is enough to sustain you).
So back to my friends who I laugh with. They are new friends as I was introduced to them to help me. (yes, you lot!) We have things in common. We all are affected by cancer in one way or another and all have bumpy roads. But we all have something in common apart from a disease. We know how to live and laugh and see the good and positive in situations. I could be sad and say why me and bemoan my lot but I don’t and actually I feel blessed and privileged and lucky. Why? You might think it was bad luck...and not something you should feel blessed about...
We are blessed because we got to see and remember that it is how we walk the journey on our path that is important, not the destination or how long that path is.
We talk of carpe diem and seize the day but I don’t see it in that gung ho go and sky dive and swim with dolphins type of way, but to stop and pause and appreciate the small and beautiful life that is happening right now this minute while we are busy making other plans. It isn’t about money and new things and travel and 1001 things to do before you die, but it is the now. Right here, right now. My friends appreciate friendship and courage and laughter. One friend hangs out the washing in her bare feet to enjoy the feeling of the grass between her toes, and remember she is alive... I am a bit of a cloud watcher. This morning, I marvelled at the beauty of the mist in the morning over the trees. Most of us are too busy planning and thinking about what to do next and rushing around saying I’ll do it tomorrow or being grumpy about today or about the past to notice the ladybird on the flower or seize the day. Now is life. This is it. We laugh and store up good memories to see us through the bumps and some of my new friends have very short bumpy roads but they walk them with love from friendships and courage and laughter and I admire them and cherish them for that.
Whatever your path is in life, I wish you to walk with love and friendship and courage and laughter and I want you remember to stop and feel the grass between your toes and look at the clouds and appreciate today and friendship and joy in the small things. We can be sad and watch our life pass us by or we can find the good and the true and the joy and I will always look for the good and true and laughter as this is it and I want to seize the day... and if you have a smooth road, maybe remember to take a step to walk with a friend who has a bumpy path. Hold their hand and help them up the hills. They will then have the love and laughter and good memories to give them courage to walk their path and you will experience a bit of life.
And always remember the journey is your life and stop and remember it while you are busy making other plans.
And I am not going to wish you smooth roads, but I wish you all a few bumps. Many wise people have said many wise words about why we all need some bumps in our lives, but as I am named after Little My from the Moomins, I like Moomintroll’s thoughts on it best of all....
“Just to think, never to be glad or disappointed.... Never to like anyone and get cross at him and forgive him. Never to sleep or feel cold, never to make a mistake and have a bellyache and be cured from it, never to have a birthday party, drink beer and have a bad conscience.... How terrible.
How terrible indeed.
The term ‘bumpy’ comes from a very special lady who once said to me ‘I had a bit of a bumpy weekend’ This was the understatement of the year, but that is why she is so special and so loved by so many... so bumpy I use in tribute to a wonderful lady Sunny. I wish I could hold her hand on her bumpy road once more.
Bumpy roads and forgiveness and laughter to you all
Little My xxx
