Well, at least I managed to get throug the mri this time without a complete meltdown. Drugs certainly do help to calm the nerves, lol. And now we have the nervous wait to find out if the cancer is localised to the original spot, or has spread. Am not very good at this part. So many emotions have been bought back to the surface of the bubbling couldrin that is me, and all these new ones on top threaten to make me explode. Im so frustrated with myself, I know that we just have to stay calm and wait to see what they say, and that they are still tons of options. I know what i should be thinking, but I just cant stop imagining the worst. Why to we let our minds play tricks on us. I dont know how many times on chat I have told new people waiting, to just try and stay clam, and yet here i am in a right litle tis. It just wasnt meant to be like this. Im only 28 should be out enjoying life, not trying to dig deep and find the strength somewhere hidden inside (which hopefully i will find soon) to fight this for a second time. Sorry for moaning I know youve all heard it a thousand times before, just needed to let it out before i explode.
