Today I would like to share some thoughts I had back on the evening of Paul's death when I was allowed to return to the room where the nurses had washed Paul, had put a white sheet over him, had put a small bunch of flowers between his hands that were now folded over his chest and had lit a vanilla scented candle on the table beside his bed.
The room felt so peaceful.
This was the room in which, less than one hour…
"You see," the oncologist said calmly, "what has happened here is that your cancer has spread into the liver."
I can still remember the shocked silence in the room. Even though we had been expecting to hear this, when we actually heard it, we felt really shocked.
I don't know what Paul was thinking, but I know that I thought: Once cancer has metastasised to the liver it is really bad.
The oncologist…
In 2013, Paul's PSA level began to rise. He began to feel unwell too with weakness, nausea, vomiting and lack of appetite. He lost a lot of weight in a very short period of time.
In the spring of 2014, CT and bone scan revealed that the cancer had spread to bones and lymph nodes. Looking back on it now, I cannot understand why the scans were performed as late as spring of 2014; I mean, the PSA had been going up and…
Before I continue sharing Paul's and my story, I thought I would briefly comment on love and our relationship.
I suppose most people would say that their relationship was something really special; and yet, when I look at many relationships around me, I feel that Paul's and my relationship was truly something very special and different from a lot of relationships I know.
Firstly, when Paul and I met, it felt…
This time last year, I was sitting by my husband's bedside in the hospital and I said the words that were the most beautiful and the most heart-breaking words I would ever say: It is okay if you want to let go now."
Those words were the most beautiful and loving words I could say to him. I knew how courageously he had been battling with prostate cancer for 15 years. I knew how sick he had become, particularly…
