Reflections On My Journey With Loving And Losing

  • A Time Of Uncertainty

    In autumn of 2016, Paul and I had come to one of our regular appointments with the oncologist. We were so sure everything would be fine. But the oncologist informed us that Paul's PSA had gone up a little. He said that there was no need to get worried just yet but that it seemed like Zytiga was slowly losing effect.

    I remember that we drove home in silence. The minute we got in, Paul switched on the TV and tried…

  • A Time Of Fear And Then Relief: Learning To Cherish Each Moment

    In 2013, Paul's PSA level began to rise. He began to feel unwell too with weakness, nausea, vomiting and lack of appetite. He lost a lot of weight in a very short period of time.

    In the spring of 2014, CT and bone scan revealed that the cancer had spread to bones and lymph nodes. Looking back on it now, I cannot understand why the scans were performed as late as spring of 2014; I mean, the PSA had been going up and…

  • The Good Times

    I met my husband Paul in June of 2009 in Marburg, a small town in Germany, where we both attended a Buddhist seminar. Being from Germany originally, I had been living in the small town in the south of Germany for many years, whereas Paul had come from Dublin in Ireland to join the weekend course. I think Paul and I would probably never have spoken to one another, if one of the lectures during the seminars hadn't been…