Reflections On My Journey With Loving And Losing

  • Time To Say Our Goodbye

    Today I would like to share some thoughts I had back on the evening of Paul's death when I was allowed to return to the room where the nurses had washed Paul, had put a white sheet over him, had put a small bunch of flowers between his hands that were now folded over his chest and had lit a vanilla scented candle on the table beside his bed.


    The room felt so peaceful.

    This was the room in which, less than one hour…

  • We Remember Them

    We Remember Them (by Rabbi Sylvan Kamens and Rabbi Jack Riemer)


    At the rising of the sun and at its going down

    We remember them.

    At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter

    We remember them.

    At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring

    We remember them.

    At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer

    We remember them.

    At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn

    We remember…

  • Reflections On What I Have Learned From My Grieving Process

    In this blog post, I am going to share a number of reflections on my grieving process with you.

    1. Anticipatory grief.

    Shortly after Paul's death, people would say to me that I was now in the early stages of my bereavement. And I realised that that wasn't true. I had been grieving for Paul since the moment we got the diagnosis of liver secondaries.

    This phenomenon is called "anticipatory grief".

    I cried…

  • Reflections On What I Have Learned From My Time As A Carer

    In my previous blog posts, I have told you about the time when my man was sick, our journey through this very difficult time and the end of his life. In this blog post, I would like to tell you what I feel I have learned from the time when I cared for him. My hope is that some of the things I am going to write will help some of you who are still in the role of a carer and make some things a little easier for you. But…

  • When To Love Means To Let Go

    This time last year, I was sitting by my husband's bedside in the hospital and I said the words that were the most beautiful and the most heart-breaking words I would ever say: It is okay if you want to let go now."

    Those words were the most beautiful and loving words I could say to him. I knew how courageously he had been battling with prostate cancer for 15 years. I knew how sick he had become, particularly…