Received one of the phone calls I have been waiting for today - no news from the genetics clinic in relation to the result of my BRCA1 cancer gene screening, so it looks like time has run out and the radiotherapy is back on. The radiology dept phoned and asked if I could go straight over for the planning appointment - I bottled it and have arranged to go in tomorrow morning instead. There has been a long gap since my surgery (too much time has resulted in a bit of denial on my part) and now it looks as if the radiotherapy course will be started within the next few days. I am so nervous, but my sister has been through it and is coming with me tomorrow. She has been great, but its hard to talk to her sometimes as I have to keep it in my mind that she has only just finished all of her treatment. She has even supplied me with enough aqueous cream to keep me going. My anxiety levels are rising, but I am getting on with jotting down some questions for them tomorrow.
I shouldnt have worried - the staff were great and so reassuring - I met some more great people who were waiting for their appointments too, so feel ready now for the next stage of treatment.
The results of the genetic test came through - I have tested positive for the BRCA1 gene mutation - which means that I have a 20-30% chance of getting a second primary breast or ovarian cancer and now my 3 daughters will also have to be tested - they are such good girls and my worry is for them; my eldest is 21 and my middle daughter is nearly 18, so they are just starting out on their lives with the possibility that they could also cancer this gene mutation. I will feel so guilty if I have passed this on to them, it could affect their choices of having any kids of their own, but I am trying to keep calm for them. We will cross that bridge later. They have been referred to the genetist in December. I have been referred to a gynaecologist to discuss an oophrectomy or hysterectomy which would reduce my chances by half - the mastectomy is on hold for the time being as the radiotherapy starts next week, so we will see what next year brings in relation to that. At the moment I am trying to stay optimistic about it all. I know that I was extremely lucky to have found the tumour when I did and that it hadnt spread anywhere else, so I dont want to push my luck too much. I have been booked in to have 20 days of radiotherapy - have now got my tattoos so its just a countdown now to treatment - the main treatment should end on 23rd December and I should be due a booster between Christmas and New Year.
