Hi Guys,
Well it has been a year since this awful disease arrived in my life and i have just found the strength to read through my original blogs and forums from that time.
It has been 5 months 1 week and 5 days since my dad passed away and it feels like years and just minutes all at the same time.
So anyway i have realised through reading through my past ramblings what a huge support you all were to me last christmas and indeed in the 12 months since.
I hope i did everything in my power to make my dad comfortable and to make him feel as loved as possible. He truly was an inspirational man, a gentleman and a wonderful father. I hope that he was proud of me and the person he made me.
Alot of you on here had suggestions as to how he could be made more comfortable and questions to ask Dr's and how i could express things i needed to say to him and i want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
You guys have been my rock and have helped me to see the good in the world when i felt there wasn't any!!
You are all going through this hell yourselves yet you still find the time and strength to type comforting words to all of us who need them.
So Christmas is fast approaching and i thought that nothing could be as bad as last year. We found out xmas eve that dad wouldn't see another xmas but i think deep down i believed that the strong, well looking man who stood in front of me would not let this cancer beat him and yes we would get another xmas together.
However the evil that is cancer took hold of him and took him out of my life in July and now we face our 'first xmas' without him.
Dad would always ring me 1st thing approx 6am saying "has he been" lol. then be on the phone constantly until i said ok we are leaving now. We then get to his house for lunch that he and mom always cook together. He open presents with the kids and loves putting all the toys etc together before dinner.
Sorry gone off on one there.
The main point of this blog was to say Thankyou so much to all my friends on here and to hope that you all have the best christmas that you can.
My First Christmas in Heaven
I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below.
With tiny lights, like heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear.
For I am spending Christmas with the angels this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
But sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it's beyond description to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not that far away, we really aren't apart.
So be happy for me dear one, you know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas, with the angels this year.
I send you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above,
I send you each a memory, of my undying love.
After all, love is the gift, more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other as my Father said to do
For I can't count the blessings or love He has for each of you.
So have a Merry Christmas, and wipe away that tear.
Remember I'm spending Christmas, with angels this year.
