Girls Rules....Sorry John!!

3 minute read time.

In reply to johnoconnors blog  http://community.macmillan.org.uk/blogs/confused_and_pied_off/archive/2010/07/10/the-man-rules-ok-hope-this-brings-a-smile.aspx Sorry mate but only just found yours so us girls need to fight back.  ((((hugs))))

GIRLS RULES

TOP 30 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT US!!!


1.  Don't ever lie to us, we always find out.

2.  We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.

3.  Don't say you understand when you don't.

4.  Girls are petty, get over it.

5.  You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.

6.  Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

7.  If you talk about having a big d***, we know you don't.

8.  Zit's happen to everyone.  Yes, Mr.  Perfect, even to you.

9.  We don't like it when you act like Mr Big; we like it when you are Mr Big.

10.A system in your car only impresses other boys.

11.  No matter what you say, your ex girlfriend is a pig.

12.  It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.

13.  If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.

14.  Be spontaneous, dinner and a movie won't always cut it.

15.  We are self-conscious by nature, we can't help it.

16.  We are drama queens.

17.  Fashion police do exist.

18.  Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.

19.  We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, or anything else you and your friends talk about, like: how much you know about the video games, computers, Star Wars, etc.

20.  Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.

21.  We don't shave our legs every day, get over it.

22.  Don't make bets about us, we always find out.

23.  Shave - no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it.

24.  Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it's not.

25.  Don't compare our breasts with Brittany Spear's, hers are fake.

26.  It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.

27.  We are beautiful, but make-up helps.  (All girls love makeup, do not call us prissy or tell us we worry to much about the way we look for wearing it.)

28.  We will always think we are fat so humour us and tell us we aren't.

29.  It doesn't make you look cool to make fun of someone else.

30.  If you ever beat us in a sport or game, it's always because you cheated, even if you didn't. 
 

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Oh that was so funny.Its always good to have a laugh x

    Teresa xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Glad you liked them girls. xxxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    God's Gift

    He never wields a razor

    never bothers with foam or hot towels,

    his 'tache is disguising a weak upper lip

    and his beards hiding pimples and jowls.

    His stomach is grossly distended

    tho' he can just about see his feet,

    he balances mirrors upon his toes

    to admire his 'three piece suite'.

    He thinks he's 'Gods gift' to women

    who're begging to be fondled and kissed,

    needless to mention, to want his attention

    you'd have to be 'Brahms and Liszt'.

    He enjoys sneaking up on women

    who are bending to reach the low shelves,

    the lucky ones hear him coming

    and automatically brace themselves.

    It's not heavy breathing that alerts his prey

    nor the sound of his feet as they land,

    it's his excited heart audibly beating

    like the bass of a 'heavy rock' band.

    This bloke seems obsessed with Viagra

    I think his libido is low,

    but he must remember, both he and his member

    are approaching the 'Big Five'O'.

    He's started to ridicule women

    one was nude, on all 4's on his mat

    when he told his dog, "Prince, if you don't eat your mince,

    you're gonna look just like that.

    He's offered girls lifts home from parties

    suggesting 'a bit of the other',

    but most decline, they'd rather spend time

    with Norman Bates .. and his 'mother'

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    The perfect man

    The perfect man is gentle

    Never cruel or mean

    He has a beautiful smile

    And keeps his face so clean.

    The perfect man likes children

    And will raise them by your side

    He will be a good father

    As well as a good husband to his bride.

    The perfect man loves cooking

    Cleaning and vacuuming too

    He'll do anything in his power

    To convey his feelings of love for you.

    The perfect man is sweet

    Writing poetry from your name

    He's a best friend to your mother

    And kisses away your pain.

    He has never made you cry

    Or hurt you In any way

    Oh, screw this stupid poem

    The perfect man is gay

    lol sorry i'll stop now, was just trying to occupy my mind for a bit...Enjoy. xxx