Endometriam Cancer Grade 111C; coping with low survival rate info

ps. a happier note!  (sorry about the downer before, really)

I got dressed, made a nice log fire, then out for a walk. (wobbly at first but greatly improved in no time).  It felt great to buy a sandwich at the local deli, mortadella on a crispy bun - tummy troubles or not it went down a treat.

The fire's burning nice and hot now and I'm drying some things in front of it that I'll be needing for Ischia. Back to reality.

Motto of the story; better to go for a wobbly walk than grgrgrgr at home about stuff that's not that important!  

xx

Hi Penny,

7 down - 13 to go and still feel fine - so far so good.  Bit tired today so lay on the sofa with the computer so thought I would send you a quick message.

How are the plans going for the party? - great idea having a party to celebrate your good health.  Have you been drinking much throughout your treatment?  I have carried on drinking red wine throughout mine.  My oncologist told me it was ok to to drink in moderation, so I have carried on as before (well ok, maybe the occasional glass instead of the usual bottle, haha).  

Glad you're feeling a bit better and able to get out even for a wobbly walk.  It sounds as though you are still having severe side effects but to be perfectly honest your body has taken an absolute battering from the radiotherapy so it's bound to take you a good while to get back to normal.  

Thanks for sharing some personal details. Life has certainly thrown you a few curved balls hasn't it?  It's amazing how resilient we are and our capacity for coping often surprises me.  You have gone through so much but remember everything you've experienced created the person you are today.  I had a pretty tough start to life and a very cruel father.  My older brother never got over his cruelty but I feel that you can't blame your past for ever and have to take responsibility for yourself.  

I am so excited as I have 1/16" of hair - can you believe it.  It's the best thing that's happened to me in 6 months.  I want to shout it from the mountain tops and tell the world.  Lolly Lyall has hair - yeh.  Unfortunately I still look like Uncle Fester and don't have any eyebrows or eyelashes, but they will grow eventually.  Talking about insensitive friends......when I lost my hair and eyelashes one of my friends said "It doesn't matter" you are still the same person inside.  What a load of crap - it does matter and I wonder if she would feel the same if she was in my place.... erm I doubt it.  

The decorators are making inroads and working hard.  They both have their own cancer stories and it's interesting listening to them.  Both their wives had chemo & radiation and are still alive today 20 years/13 years (respectively) later.  You don't know whether you are comparing apples and applies though because one was breast cancer the other ovarian and they didn't know the stage or grade.  

Anytime you feel like a rant just pop it down here and it really makes you feel good and I will do the same.

Have a good week and enjoy being the centre of attention at your party.

Lots of love and hugs

Lorraine

x

Dear Lorraine,

How are you today?  You've been holding up so well! It's amazing.  May it last the whole time.

Yes,if you feel like a rant pop it down. It's SO HELPFUL.

Just wanted to make a comment on something we've been talking about -this 'difficult past' possibly even 'traumatized past'   we both seem to have had.  In some of the more reputable books on getting well after cancer, especially from a book by O. Carl Simonton called "Getting Well Again",  it is suggested that there is a link between the typical cancer patient and his/her traumatized past. It seems to be a part of the profile. Anyway, it's an interesting book.  Simonton is a Californian oncologist with a lot of success in helping desperate cases of cancer recover.  When you mentioned your past, I thought "aye aye, it's true then". He's got quite a lot to say about it all and the reason it is useful is because through identifying our behaviours (as a result of the traumas), we can learn how NOT TO repeat those behaviours in the fuuture (to help to avoid cancer returning).  Because we have to change.

I'm keeping him in my back pocket, just in case I become one of those desperate cases. Meanwhile, Ive ordered his tapes and hope to get started doing something about it  all - since he's helped thousands of people.

But on to the reality note of the day!  I did too much yesterday. I went with Josefine to Ikea to buy some curtain panels for Gwyn's kitchen- dining room - as you do when you've only got one cylinder to go on!!!  Anyway, I really dont mind.  The kitchen will look lovely - and lets face it, that's where we're going to be having the party.  We bought the bits and bobs to make everyting look pretty.

I tried to go shopping for those few things for Ischia this morning, but honestly I haven't got the energy today - I'll just rest up and get recharged. The shops are open till much later in Rome.I might feel up to it later on.

The appointment with the oncologist on Tuesday was useful because he waylaid all my fears about the frog in my throat, the throwing up on Saturday, the feeling weak; he said "you'll feel better and better every day". He also oranized for me to have my port-cath cleaned out.  Do you have one?  Did you know you have to get them cleaned every 40 days!! This was the first time since chemo - but no problems.

Anyway, his reassurance helped and I felt better after the visit. It's good to be able to have a chat with the doctor once in a while isn't it? I've felt quite left on my own most of the time - and it's not been good.

CONGRATULATIONS on the long hair!  Have you stopped waring scarves and things now? Mine's about 3 inches now -  feels OK!!

I might not be back to chat  for a while because of getting ready for the party, resting between exertions, having the party - then off to Ischia....but I will think of you and hope, most sincerely that you keepon being alright.

Speak again after 16th. (blog if you want to get something off your chest anyway.  I think the hotel has a computer somewhere)

Be well,

Lots love

Penny xx

Hi Penny,

Welcome back.

Hope you had a wonderful holiday and you feel like a new woman.

Love and hugs

Lorraine

x

How are you coming alongwith RT Lorraine - you didn't mention it? I hope it's OK for you!

If my friend Jo hadn't been with me on the trip to Ischia it could have been a real disaster, but she managed to turn things round.  And in the end, it was OK.  Not brilliant (as I'd been dreaming, drat).

Firstly the weather was incredibly bad.  We JUST managed a wonderfuly dramatic crossing! Massive waves, torrential rain (which I stood out in and revelled in, watching Naples disappear as we drove further into the bay).   Did you hear about the mud slide on the island that killed a 15 year old girl; well that was in the next village, so the locals were in mourning, the roads cut off and every one afraid that the volcano would send down more mud. It rained and it rained.  Black outside! No pale blue twinkling sea!

This might have been OK, since we couldnt feel the rain inside the hotel, but the hotel was one of those places they send bus loads of Germans too...dreadfully overweight and incredibly dull Germans.  So instead of hearing the sweet lilt of the Ischitanis, we were in this odd world of Germany (in the pools, in the restaurant, EVERYWHERE).  I called them the Teotonic Tubbies!  The kichen made food that they would like, huge plates of stuff that was so un- italian that my poor RT'd intestines got screwed up!!!  Jo kept on making things fun, by seeing the funny side of things - sh was's GREAT.

I got them to change my food (had to threaten to leave if they wouldn't!) and on the positive side too, I had the most wondeful massager you  can imagine...

every day he worked on the body to get rid of the toxins and I do look and feel so much better for it.. got some colour and feel physically less tense and blobby.

Jo then had to leave, but the weather picked up so I went into the local village (hitched a ride on the back of a scooter) and finally, it felt like 'my Ischia' all over again; the bobbing boats, calm blue sea, sweet laid -back people...(met up with a fisherman I've known for years) and i sat in the sun for a few hours too...so in the end it worked out.

My son picked me up from the station and said i looked a million.  So it was the best thing to do.  Though my Mum and so many people say "Oh it was far too early to go and do athing like that"...it wasn't. Got to listen to the soul and its needs,got to reach out, got to recharge any which way we can eh?

I'm much better but still nauseaus, and sometimes very very tired and weak, so can NOT rush being completely well again.  It's going to take a lot of time. Thought I'd tell you so you know that when it's all over with - and you dont have too long to go do you now? you need to keep up the resting.

I'm off now.  My Skye tv didnt work while I as away (think it was the storms), so I lost two "In Treatment" evenings..so my friend, who had recorded them for me, has invited me over to look at them at her house. By the way she's OK now after 2 years after colon cancer...(Everyone seems to be getting cancer have you noticed.).

I'd like to hear your news and how you are. I'll find out how I am tomorrow when I go for a check up with my Radio Therapy specialist.

Lots of love

Penny x