hi its my birthday today i am 36 wow, i am a little tipsy after my 3 glasses of rose (i don't drink very often) i have had an awful day my dad is so poorly in the last week he has had his stent fitted but has deteriated fast, his orriginal oesophagus tumour has managed to spread to his liver and lungs, he now has ascites looking 9 months pregnant, and he is pleasantly confused he can take approx 20 steps he is so breathless. as my sister in law is his cancer specialist she has told us that he is now in the end stage and has approx 4 weeks to live. so i really didn't feel like celebrating my birthday, i put on a brave face all day for the sake of the children and was so pleased when they forgot to sing happy birthday to me because i knew i would spend the whole song balling my eyes out because my number one man my dad is certain to not be here next year.
its been a hard week, this week apart from my dad my sister in law had an emergency appendisectomy, i have had a brain scan awaiting results i have also had an echo of my heart and i have a hole in it (my husband said he put that there with his bow and arrow lol) i keep telling myself that there are so many people who are worse off than me and i send you all peace and hugs tracy xx sorry if i have ranted and waffled maybe its the wine? xx
FormerMember
Hello TracyI am so sorry about your Dad, I know it doesn't help, but I hope you will soon remember the happy times. I have only just joined the site and can't believe how it helps to read the experiences of others, and know that other people understand.
My dad died on 15th Jan, after a year with lung and then brain cancer. I helped care for him him at the end and was there holding his hand when he died. It was quite traumatic, as he effectively drowned, and I have had real difficulty trying to get those last images out of my mind. I couldn't look at his photo at first, it was too painful, but now at least I can talk and think about him without disolving into tears. I hope it is easier for you, but know that despite all the kind wishes and love of family and friends, it can be very lonely.
I have now joined the site, as we have just found out that my husband has prostate cancer, and will be having his prostate removed in a couple of weeks. It was a real shock, as he had no symptoms, but had a blood test for a completely unrelated infection. We are obviously very worried, but have already found reassurance by reading about the experiences of others.
You are doing the right thing taking it one day at a time, I hope you grow stronger with each day.
