Hi all,
My mum has just been diagnosed with Breast cancer. She first found the lump 2 weeks ago and was sent to the hospital for tests where they found a second lump. We have found out today that it has spread to the lymph nodes and an operation is set for the 16th September. I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say to be honest as I feel that I'm sounding selfish as it's my mum going through it. There are so many questions I want to ask her but am scared of coming over as insensitive as she must be going through hell. My mum is my best friend and means the absolute world to me and I suppose all I want is someone to put their arms round me and tell me she is going to be ok. I'm sorry for sounding so negative but i'm finding being positive so hard at the moment, this is the first (and hopefully the last) time someone so close has been affected by cancer. Thanks to everyone for reading this
Nicola
xx
FormerMember
Hi Nicola, I'm sorry to hear about your mum, it must be an awful time for you both . I know just what you mean about wanting answers but not wanting to appear insensitive. You certainly aren't being selfish, lots of people with family or friends with cancer use this site, it's a great source for information and comfort as well. I hope everything goes well for your Mum next week, I know how precious Mums are.
i'm so sorry to hear about your poor mum .being told you have cancer is not only devastating for the person diagnosed but also for all those nearest and dearest to them ,so please don't feel selfish you obviously want to know more because you love your mum so very much and as you say she is not only your mum but your best friend too.....its early days yet and everything will seem a blur but it will get easier to deal with i promise.
i was diagnosed with lymphoma, cancer of the lymph nodes in may and altho i still have my bad days mostly i just get on with doing what i got to do. i finished my radiotherapy on friday and have to wait until december for a follow up scan ,the waiting is hard but you find once you get over the initial shock it gets a little easier day by day...
wishing your mum the best of luck for next week ,thinking of you both
You know your mother really won't mind telling you the details. It's only so that you will both know the score. She may be trying to protect you from too much information.
In many ways, it is easier being the patient than the loving partner or offspring. Being there, being calm, wanting to know what she knows, and sharing the good and the bad is as good as it gets from the patient's point of view.
Try to deal with one thing at a time. The surgery is only a week or so away, so you and she can find out what you need to. You can help her find her stuff to take in to hospital with her. Books, toiletries, pretty nightie for after the surgery. You can help her wash her hair and make up her face afterwards so the staff treat her as a person, not just a case. You can go to the hospital with her when she goes for the pre admittance testing, or if she doesn't want that, get her room ready for her when she comes out.
You might be able to take a weekend away with her before her op. Even if you have to dress warmly, it is nice to walk on the beach and let the sound of the sea calm you both.
Hi Nicola, welcome to this site. We all understand on here what you are going through. You are not selfish, everybody is affected by this disease, not just the patient.
I would talk to your mum if I were you. She might be relieved to be able to talk things over with you.
I hope your mum's surgery goes well. You can send me a PM if you like, if there is anything you want to ask. I suffered from breast cancer too. I was diagnosed six years ago and hope to be told I am all clear soon. People do beat this!
