As I begin writing it has been 3 days 4 hours and 17 minutes since my lovely wee mum passed away. During that time there has been a steady stream of texts, emails, phonecalls, visits and messages from friends and family and, ofcourse, from my mac friends. I have hardly spent more than half an hour on my own but tonight I have insisted I sleep in the house on my own.
I am doing ok as I've kept myself busy making the funeral arrangements but I have found the mornings to be particularly hard. In the first moments of wakefulness everything is normal and then I remember and my heart breaks.
I know from past experience that the toughest days are yet to come. After the funeral most people go back to their everyday lives and the visits, phone calls etc. lessen except from the one or two very close friends and family who understand that the grieving has only started. I am in a fortunate position this time as I know that is when all of my mac friends will take over. I have had unbelievable support from all of you and am confident that will continue in the weeks, months and years to come. You are the ones who really understand, not only about losing a loved one but about the long hard journey that cancer sufferers and their families embark on as they live with cancer. God Bless you all.
Here is a youtube link to the song that will be played during mums committal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiSdhHgAwvI
Jean Swan 8/11/35 - 14/10/10.
RIP mum.
You will always be in my heart. XX
A Gaelic Blessing
May the sun rise up to meet you, may the sun shine warm upon your face.
May the rain fall softly upon your fields until we meet again, and may God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
