The week started with my boss replying to my email that I sent the previous Thursday. Well actually that's not strictly true. She did email me but didn't answer the questions I had asked her.
I asked her to firm up a date for the welfare meeting, if there was a time limit on the counselling offer and if I could have a copy of the sickness absence policy. Here's the reply I received.
Welfare meetings are informal meetings that are held before the Sickness Absence Policy. The purpose is to discuss current health and the content of any Occupational Health Reports if relevant. They also provide opportunity to discuss likely return to work and anything that the school might do to support a return. Although informal there is always a member of HR Team in attendance. We buy into this service to provide administrative support (minutes, draft letters etc. and advice on employment laws to make sure that I am dong the right things!)
I would like to think that you might start counselling in the next couple of weeks. I realise that it will not be a quick fix but it would be good to at least start the process. Supporting counselling is rare but when I have funded it, I have always been advised six sessions to start with to see how it goes. Hope this helps.
The main thing for me was to have sight of the policy so that I could understand it. I don't have a problem with her following the policy the problem is not knowing what the policy is. Her response seems to be saying she hasn't started to follow the policy yet and that the OH meeting and welfare meeting are pre-policy. If that is the case why did she tell me she had to refer me to OH because I had a four week sick note and why did the OH girl tell me the head was just following the policy? Anyway, I've always replied promptly to her emails but I have decided I've wasted too much energy worrying about work so I haven't emailed back. I will now stick to keeping her informed of what's happening. I see my GP again on Wednesday and towards the end of the week I'll contact OH to arrange a counselling session for the following week. After I had made the decision to put work on the back burner I was able to get back to grieving for my wee mum and the past few days have been the toughest. I think I've been bottling everything up and I have been overwhelmed by sadness. The tears push their way to the surface when I least expect them and the sobbing wracks my body with pain. Events over the last 12 months replay in my mind. They are not conscious thoughts and sneak up on me. The last time mum hugged me, gave me a wee kiss and patted my back is a particularly strong image. It was the Tuesday evening before she passed. It was when she asked me for a big glass of milk while she was sitting on the commode and we had laughed together. When I get her up to put her in her wheelchair she hugged me so tightly, patting my back and giving me wee kisses. I wheeled her to her bed and when I got her out of her chair she repeated the hugs and kisses before I put her into bed. That was the last time she was conscious and I now wonder if she knew. She always gave me hugs and kisses but this was different. It was like she was consoling me, she kept patting my back and hugged me for longer than usual. If she did know she must have been so scared and yet she was still looking out for me. I needed to get that down on paper and I'm now struggling to see through my tears. I'm heart broken and what I need is a big hug from my mum!
