grief

Midgie,

Unfortunately there are lots of people on here who understand exactly what you are going through and I hope they reply to give you some comfort in the knowledge you are NOT alone and what you feel however awful, is perfectly normal and natural.

All I can do is send you a hug and my thoughts.

Debs xx

Hi Midgie,

So sorry to hear of your lose, I lost my dad and best friend within weeks of each last year, and now my partner has just been diagnosed with advanced throat cancer,  For the most of this past year I cried every day, in public, at work, at home, I thought I was losing my mind with grief, eventually I went for bereavement counselling and its been amasing, it has helped me no end, after the first session I really thought that there was finally some light at the end of the tunnel.  I went to MIND, every borough has one of these organisations, it might be worth your while looking into.

You will never forget the love of your life, but its still very early days for you but in time you will be able to smile and laugh when thinking of her instead of crying.  There's nothing wrong in what you are doing, it can actually help to release your agony.

Good luck and best wishes,

Jackie x

thank you Debs and Jackie for your kind words of comfort, Jackie how did you find out about MIND ?

good luck and best wishes to you both

                                           midgie x

Hi Midgie, its early days, you are still

grieving and that's natriel.Some days will be good and some days bad,and there's

no harm n crying and letting your feelings

out after all you have lost the love of your

life, and it must be very very hard to see

the wood from the trees.Talk about your

lovely wife, you must have so many good

memories of your life together,and this

grief will get less painful in time but i dont

think you ever really get over it when you

lose someone you love, we just have to

go on dont we.Sending you a hug and you know we are always here when you

need a friend.

 Love Lucylee. XXXXX

midgie I am so sorry for your great saddness It is quite normal to feel the way you do. I lost my husband on 1st march 2009 to non small cell lung cancer. You don't get over the death of your lifelong partner and friend. You just muddle through the days and hope that they will get better. It is 30 weeks now since Ray passed and I still find myself in tears at the most inopportune moments. I thought things were settling down and I was regaining control of my emotions but I have just had two weeks where I could not stop crying and felt totally inadequate, sad, out of control, useless, alone. Wondering why I was being 'spared' to live out a life of utter loneliness and complete heartache.

What I am saying is that what you are feeling is perfectly normal and a natural part of the grieving processs through which we are travelling.  Having said that, not everyone grieves in the same way.  

As Lucy said, it is good to talk about the person we have lost and then we maybe don't cry as much but we still miss them so much it hurts and want them back with us.

Take care and I hope you manage to get through this with your sanity intact.  Macmillan services have been very helpful to me.

x x Patricia c c