Unfortunately things are really bad for us now, Martin is so poorly. They removed the 2 small tumours from his lungs last May but when they opened him up to remove the tumour from his liver they found it was twisted around blood vessels which deemed it inoperable.
They gave him about 5 lots of chemo, which should have been done every other week but due to his low white blood cell count it ended up being every 2 weeks.
He was supposed to have 6 lots & then have a scan, but he started to get jaundiced & feel very tired so they scanned him after 5.
The scan showed the chemo had done nothing, the tumour had grown & another had appeared on his lungs. We was told there was no further treatment available & we left the hospital;
We updated our GP & our district nurses. They arranged for a Macmillan nurse to contact us, who gave us her card & told us to ring if we want her to come around at any time but I've not felt a need to, & just last week they sorted us out with a carer who comes in every morning to help Martin out of bed, washed & dressed & put someone from Hospice at Home in contact with us.
Martin has deteriorated a lot over the past 2 weeks.
Now he is very yellow, including his eyes. He has no energy, he sleeps a lot during the day. He is finding it very difficult to get up on his own, once we've helped him onto his feet he can shuffle to the toilet or the bedroom either holding my hand or shoulder for support. I've got him a wheelchair this week so I can take him out without worrying, just this Monday we had to go to the hospital to have his chemo line removed (big delay considering last chemo dose was Christmas week due to waiting list)
His mouth is sooo dry all the time making it difficult to understand him when he talks & chewing & swallowing food.
Steroids have improved his energy levels & appetite noticably but his decline has made friends & family take a sudden breath when they see him.
He has lost so much weight on his arms, back , face, neck & leg tops. The bottom of his legs, ankles & feet as well as his tummy are very swollen with fluid.
I look at photos just from Christmas & he doesn't look like my Martin any more.
Being the darling that he is he is trying to get a lot of jobs round the house that he has left for years sorted. Despite me telling him to leave it & not waste his energy I have got people knocking at my door endlessly, plasterer, builder, painter, man to take my settee away to cover it, as well as relatives & friends.
My work are being fantastic, I've got a lap top now so I am able to work from home. I've gone in for a few mornings this week but Im going to work from home tomorrow because he fell over yesterday morning & one of our girls had a lot of difficulty trying to help him up onto his feet.
Martin has organised a big family & friends party, the soonest we could get the hall was the 17th April. Im very concerned now, it feels like so far away.
We've organised a weekend break to Butlins next weekend with our girls & their boyfriends. They've sorted us ground floor accomodation, it is a 70's weekend, Im hoping Martin will be up for it as he is so looking forward to it.
One of our girls, Kelly, is having a baby. It's due early Sept, Martin is adament he will be here to see his first grandchild.
Im so frightened, so sad & so angry that we are going through this.
I realise Im a selfish cow when this site brings it home just how many of us are going through it.
Im sending my love out to all of you. xxxxxxxxx
Mandy
