Many people love to plan ahead and make those three, five, ten year plans, they know where they want to be and by when but cancer can put a HUGE stop to that.
I count myself lucky, when my now husband was first diagnosed I was 20 years old, I'd only just really discovered how to work my washing machine and was enjoying the first bit of freedom from the family home so I hadn't got round to making huge future plans that I suddenly had to rethink.
Of course we had dreams and hopes but we never had put a deadline on these so we never have had the pressure on ourselves to get things done by a certain date or the disappointment of not doing things, suppose that sometimes can be one of the bonuses (if there is any!) of having cancer as a young person.
We've always known that my husband's cancer is more than likely incurable and one day it will probably eventually take over but we've managed over seven years so far.
To begin with, living with the unknown of when he will relapse used to consume my thoughts, I used to dread the MRI but in the same breathe want them to hurry up as then I thought that would give us another three/six months pass to live and a chance to breathe a little (if that makes sense!) but in the past couple of years we've had more downs than ups with new tumours and more treatments happening but in a way that's taught me to be more relaxed around it (funny as it seems to be getting worse news by the year!) but it's made me realise that no amount of worrying can alter the cancer (trust me, if worrying cured cancer, I would have cured tonnes of people by now!!!)
I've learnt to try and live with the unexpected, there's no point worrying about six months time as tomorrow might throw something else into the mix that can change the path that you thought you'd be on, sometimes in a bad way, but sometimes in a nice way!
Life is horrendous sometimes and it's very easy to get caught up with all the negative stuff and get consumed with sadness but when you have the opportunity to step back and look at life it can be so amazing and the things that you love and crave for are often the simple things and those simple things like chilling out on the sofa with a loved one chatting about nothing are the things that make life so perfect!
Money is nice of course and material objects can make things nicer but love, health, friendship and happiness cost nothing but are so precious.
In hard times, I always try and focus on the positives (sometimes harder said than done!) I try and end the day thinking of at least three things that have made be grateful/happy throughout the day and then think of three things that I'm looking forward to for the next day (often food related!!!) but it helps me keep my focus on the bigger picture, yes cancer is in our life but cancer is not our life, we weren't always known as "Mr and Mrs Blah Blah, you know he's the one with the cancer!" we are simple just getting on with our lives one day at a time.
