WHY DAD?

3 minute read time.

Hi im new to this but ever since loosing my wonderful father nearly 3 weeks ago im finding myself coming on here and reading what people are saying and going through which makes it a little bit easier for me to try and come to terms with things.

My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer january 2010 after having routine knee replacement surgery october 2009. He was never ever ill and was so extremely fit and healthy until having his knee surgery.

After surgery he got breathless and tired the only symptoms of this cancer. After scans and xrays at our university hospital he was told there was no cancer detected but there was alot of fluid around and in his  left lung which would need draining.

The thorasic surgeon asked could he go into dads chest with a camera to see what was the cause and to drain the 8 litres of fluid, this was after we were told there was nothing serious, i.e cancer!

The day after this 20 minute op, they give us the dreaded news that he had found some nodules and that he took biopsies but they didnt look good, we were devastated.

My wondeful strong but scared  dad switched off and ignored any correspondence from the hospital regarding this matter until finally we couldnt take any more worry and had to confront this and find out what was wrong.

We were told in Jan 2010 that my dad had lung cancer and that he would need some sort of treatment, The oncologist did not want to treat dad with chemo as she said he was too well and healthy to under go this at this particular time.

We're a big close family and we never spoke of this horrid, nasty diagnosis, we never asked the oncologist no questions or anything about prognosis. We totally switched ourselves off from this.

Next onc app we were told good news that the cancer had not spread or advanced in any way what so ever, we were told that dad had this certain genetic tag that would enable him to have this so call 'miracle drug' IRESSA. The doctor said that there was a big chance that dad would respond well with this drug and that it should be perfect for him being he was so well at this stage.  This drug was not licenced until 13th july so he was planned to start this on 15th.

The months leading up to this date my dad started to get a lot more tired, very worried and anxious also started to feel a bit of pain around his side.

My dad was later told that the cancer had slightly progressed and that they had evidence that it had gone into his spine, he did not tell us anything of this as he always protected us from anything bad, we found this out from a home visit from the oncologist when my dad passed away.

Unfortunately my dear dad had a severe stroke fathers day June 20th, We definately and cant help to put this down to the immense stress and worry that this diagnosis gave him. He was a changed man from the day they told him, he hid his worried, sad eyes behind sunglasses for months trying not to show us but deep down we knew what he was feeling. My poor dad caught pneumonia ontop of all of this and died suddenly and very quickly june 28th.

The only thing that helps us accept this hurrendous shock is that my wonderful, strong, brave daddy was not in any pain and did not have to sufffer to the extent which we now know he would have, He didnt loose any weight or have any severe symptoms regarding lung cancer, this is why we find it so hard to have him taken from us so sudden.

There are so many questions going around in my head, why why why did they not treat dad early with chemo or radio when it was first detected? It must have been so small and very early stages being it was not on any scans. Why did they wait for my dad to get worse before treating him? maybe he wouldnt have had the stroke, caught pneumonia and died if they did ?

Love and miss u so much dad, your precious lil girl xxx

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Kirsty,

    thankyou for your message.

    I'm so sorry you are feeling so down at the moment.

    Like you I have my up days and bad days.

    Last night I was berift over losing mum, and the thought that I will never see or speak to her again, well it tears me

    apart. She was my rock and best friend.

    I do hope your GP can be of some help,You need to talk to someone and sometimes family members are not always what you need, even though they are supportive.

    My thoughts are with you also. I wish you better times.

    Love d

    Deborah xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Deb, How you doing and coping?

    I went to GP, they gave me some low strength medication to help me but they're not doing much. Im going to go back soon for more advice.

    I think about you alot loosing both parents in such a short space of time must be heartbreaking.

    Many thoughts Deb....Kirsty x x x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Kirsty, sorry have not been on site for a while.

    Just plodding along trying to come to terms with all thats happend.

    I miss mum and dad so much, and still go to ring them sometimes, strange isn't it.

    I hope you are in a better place mentally now and that your GP is being helpfull!

    I get very down at times and simple things can spark me off off either to tears or on a real downer. My sister and I have been very supportive to each other, which has helped though.

    Wishing you well, thinking of you.

    Deborah xxx