Hello all my incredible mates.....Scan day today and unlike my normal positive crazy self, I feel quite negative, blimey, first time in two years! If this turns out to be a good result, I expect you lot to get on a coach, come to Cornwall and slap me!! It is not the cancer coming back, because it will, not a problem, the 50% chance of it coming back as gone out of the window, I can deal with that and the thought of dying isn't a problem, I got very close to that already and it is something I can't be afraid of......I am terrified of chemo and I mean terrified, I would rather be confronted with a club full of drunken ruby players wanting to rip my head off. ( For those who don't know, I am a nightclub bouncer!!). The weird thing is that chemo nearly killed me and then it saved my life, and don't be put off by this, my chemo was aggressive because my cancers were aggressive, therefore it was kill or cure, so to speak.. I guess I am entitled to be negative once in awhile just for a change! I am nervous of this scan, my stoma is working overtime (Good of me to share that fact with you!!) Then just for a change guys, there is the waiting for the results...........oh lovely and we all know what that is like. God help any spotty youth who tries to gob off at me for the next few weekends, he will be cleaning his teeth via his butt (only joking!!!) Right I have said how I feel, I don't really feel better for it, but hey ho, I have been luckier than some and I am grateful for that, I have lasted longer than my Dad, eldest brother and eldest sister with this bloody demon, so when it comes back, I WILL have chemo and I WILL fight it again and again and again. Thank you for all your messages of good luck, I would be lost without you guys, so I am sending my love and hugs and thoughts to those who want them..love Carol xx
