So here is the begining...Having searched through the cancerbackup site there didn't seem to be any synovial sarcoma links. I was diagnosed on friday and as this is the start of my journey, for my own sanity and possibly helping others I thought I would make a little blog of things in my head and the treament that I receive. I would love to hear from anyone else, for a chat or whatever.This is all a bit scary and I'm sure that it hasn't sunk in yet!
FormerMember
well done for being so open - I dread the softly spoken "are you all right?" questions. I know people mean well but my brain cells aren't affected yet!
This is also the time to reassess priorities and do the things now that we really want to do. Suddenly we are aware of our own mortality - but I fully intend to go out with a bang and not a whimper . . .
Also I confess your braver than me, I'm still avoiding telling anyone the news (I had to tell hubby as he noticed the big plaster on my boob after the first biopsy)but it still might not be cancer.
It's hard telling people and it's hard being told (I've been in both positions). I think, Kerry, if you carry on as normal and prove that you ARE still that very same Kerry everyone loves, they will pick up on your lead and start to treat you as YOU again, not as the cancer victim. Identity plays quite a part in the emotional aspect of cancer. I found it quite hard to stay 'me' once sucked into the NHS system, so I let them go on using my first name on the hospital records. This helped me to feel that I could go home, leave the smell of the hospital behind and be a fully-rounded human being again. We all develop different strategies to cope with the stress and mental turmoil of what we have to face.
Sharry, yep, that's certainly quite a way to let your partner know what's happening! How did he take it? Well, let's hope it is NOT cancer, and in the meantime, hope you can follow Kerry's excellent example and try to do Business as Usual.
I though it was time for a little update... I had my CT scan last monday, a relatively stress free process although not very pleasant at the same time.The stuff you had to drink was a lot like drinking perfume but it deffinately could have been worse so do not be worried if you have this to come!!! I then recieved a call from the Nuffield centre in Oxford to say that I had an appointment today.. the speed of this after the proccess being a slow one so far did alarm me, however after spending 4 and 1/2 hours mainly waiting around very few questions were answered apart from.... that my operation will be 'in a few weeks' that I 'may or may not lose my toe' and that when i have the op i will be in hospital 'a couple of days' so as you can see all very informative!!
I have decided now that the best way forward is hysteria!! and I have also decided that i'm rather looking forwrd to some B&B courtesy of the NHS and that a 'few weeks off' is just what i need i recon!!!
so i shall keep you all informed of my location... hope that you are all well???
A bit of a scream and a shout, hurling things, a few well-chosen (or even random) swear words, a few "Why ****oing me?"s should do the trick. I'm very sorry to hear about your toe. I suppose they have at least had the courtesy to warn you, but it must be an awful shock. Yes, please do keep blogging from the Front Line of the NHS, and let us know how many stars you are awarding to your 'B&B'!!! Lots and lots of love, lots and lots of hugs xxxxx Penny
so, the dawn of another day is looming on the horizon and my operation is tommorrow! I am still as of yet unaware of what is going to happen tommorow but i guess not knowing is in some ways much better!!
The run up to this week has been a funny one, full of weird emotions and werid physical reactions on my part.... my emotions have been veryup and down with people being increadably kind which really isn't helping my 'brave face' and the physical reactions are goose bumps and feeling rather sick...other wisw=e known as anxiety!!
Anyway, as always i am hoping that you are all well?
SHARRY: hows life traeting you?
PENNY: i shall keep you posted on the B&B rating?!?!
