Changes are a coming!
Where do I start?
Those of you who maybe don’t know me, I’ve been trolling around this site for a few years after a diagnosis of rectal cancer. I had chemo/RT, surgery which resulted in a permanent stoma and more chemo. I’m now two years post op. and crossing everything that things will continue in the good
direction that it is at present.
Most of you also know that I am a brittle asthmatic and it’s this I want to share with you. In my mid
twenties back in the good old 1980’s my asthma became more and more unstable resulting in many hospital admissions due to sudden attacks. I was on oral steroids and had a nebuliser. Every treatment tried from methotrexate used for cancer and is an immunosuppressant to a stay in Birmingham Heartlands under professor care to look at food intolerance. I may blog
that one separately as it was a strange yet interesting experience.
I had hospital 999 admissions about 1 to 2 monthly through my thirties. Don’t want to be dramatic
but I wouldn’t be here now if on occasions my poor hubbie hadn’t kept up CPR (kiss of life) till the ambulance came and then they defibrilized me with those 3,2,1, stand back doofers they use on Holby City tee hee. They got me back and I was put on a ventilator in intensive care. Maybe another blog there as that was a surreal experience and facing death literally remains with me today as I’m sure it may do for some
of you out there.
I am a very determined and bloody minded person and asthma wasn’t going to stop me living life as full as I could. I went on hols abroard with my emergency steroid injections and portable oxygen at the ready in case of an attack on the plane or whilst away with no hossie nearby. Had to carry consultant letters allowing Dunc to administer I.V. drugs (he is luckily qualified to do so). I got my black belt in karate in my teens and still kept up with my club and fellow practitioners and when well I trained and also coached. That’s the difficult thing with understanding asthma, one day you can be excercising and the next you can be in hossie on a drip, just the way it is.
The worst thing for me was losing my job as a psychiatric nurse. I loved my job and had many friends but the fact that my sick record was abysmal my Nursing Officer had no choice but to pension me off
on grounds of not fulfilling my contract due to ill health. So at thirty, up the road I went with my pension and a tear in my eye. Over the past eighteen years I have always hoped that one day I would be fit enough to return to work. I hate being one of the disabled benefit statistics and have periods of low moods and guilt over it.
Now here’s something absolutely ironic. In my forties I was diagnosed with the dreaded cancer and part of the treatment was chemo and strangely my asthma disappeared whilst on it. It’s an immunosuppressant and although it hadn’t worked in my twenties it really did have a positive effect.
This truly was a silver lining to my cancer wasn’t it???? After my last chemo in Dec 2010 my asthma dipped again and we just hoped it would bounce back. You know what?? It has got better and better over the last year and is quite stable phewwwwwww. The outcome of this is that on my last visit to my dear consultant (who has cared for me since my twenties), I popped the question about returning to work and it was music to my ears. After eighteen years he said I was no longer brittle and if I felt up to it there was no reason why not. HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAY!!
So a visit to my GP to sort out forms and contact the Jobcentre plus to make arrangements for the transition back into employment. It’s all very daunting and gives me butterflies just thinking about it.
Trouble is after eighteen years what skills have I got?, who will want to employ me?, what if I can’t get a job and am unable to pay the mortgage? I’m also worried about my stoma which has permanent diarrehea due to small bowel RT damage. And believe me when it blows IT BLOWS, sideways and nothing can stop it. That wouldn’t be a pretty sight on the ASDA Tills eh!!!!!!?
Well what a baggage of ups and downs but my tale is done now. Thankyou if you manged to get this
far. I’ve sent LM’s Bernard St. Bernard out with whatever tipple you fancy. I’m off to catch the last bit of sun and have a celebratory wine
Much love and a big onwards and upwards to you all,
Take care
Jan xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
p.s. Don't know how this will turn out 'cos i've typed it in word and copied it over here so I don't lose it, Thanks for that tip Hils. Right here goes clicking now!
