The Who:
I'm 35 years old. I'm from the North of England.
I moved to Japan in 2017 and been here ever since.
Where:
In December last year I was diagnosed with HER2 breast cancer in my left breast.
The doctors assumed I'd want to travel back to the UK for treatment (and that would seem to make a lot of sense, free health care and family support ect...) but what they also told me is that my tumour was growing at a 70% growth rate. 0 being the slowest and 100% being the fastest and so in a way it was easy for me to decide to stay here. All my things are here! My wife is here, my pet, I love my job here and if I go home...how long is this whole treatment thing going to last. (well we're over six months down the line and I still don't really know.)
Why:
Half way across the world and I have barley uttered a world about cancer since December to anyone. Of course friends and family know but do they know how I am feeling? God no! Do I? I guess but I can't really control it or get a good handle on emotions which I recently feel cancer has by the balls an I want to take it back!
Every time I even think about speaking about cancer I feel myself welling up and I think "I can't talk when I cry"
Well maybe writing might help. Not much of a writer but I do have time whilst I heal (details below)
Where am I now:
In short at home.
On June 4th I had a Mastectomy on that left breast I mention earlier. I stayed in the hospital for two weeks and if I commit to this here blog I will go ahead and talk more about the experience.
Now I'm home and everyone keeps saying 'bet your glad to be home' 'bet your glad to have your own bed'
Well can I be frank with you? I wasn't. It's actually lonely and scary.
I'm getting there but if you have made it this far and you have had a mastectomy please tell me what motivated you to look forward and smile though the pain? How were you patient with this healing process?
