I haven't visited the community for ages. This is because since 22 May I was back and forth to the oncology ward at York Hospital - that is until 4 June.
Keith had to go in for pain control; the palliative care team were really good, and after trial & error managed to find a suitable cocktail of drugs administered by syringe driver into the abdomen. Around 30 May he began to vomit brown gunge - so they put a drain down his nose and into his stomach. At least that stopped the vomiting.
Dr Last had told me "every weekend is precious" when I asked about sons visiting from 200 miles away. Both sons dropped everything and came up together with partners. They took time off work, unpaid leave, holiday entitlement etc. Because Keith was on his own in a side room on thje ward, we were able to carry out all his personal care. He was never left alone - always one or two family members with him on a sort of rota basis. (34 mile round trip to the hospital from home.) It was a very precious time for all of us - giving & receiving love and tender words.
We asked Dr Yusuf (a truly lovely, gentle man) on the palliative care team if we might be able to take Keith home with help etc - we didn't want him to die in hospital. Dr Yusuf couldn't guarantee completely effective pain control at home - but he did suggest St Leonard's Hospice in York. Keith had a bed booked for the following day.
It was a great relief to be in such tranquil surroundings, and we left Keith's personal care to the staff - they were so experienced, and always on hand. Keith seemed to relax one we were there. He could no longer speak, but he could hear us. The next day when nurses came to change his position, we said Keith's breathing had changed - and when they looked closely they decided to leave him as he was, and told us gently it would not be long before he went.
My lovely husband of almost 50 years died peacefully with all his family round him on 5 June. It was not morbid - .just a passing on. He was ready to go, and we were so glad he was in a quiet beautiful place at the end. We are so thankful he did not suffer towards the end - and now he has gone to be with his Maker. I mourn, my family mourns, but we know this was just right for Keith.
Thank you community for being availabl for me to release my thoughts. Helen
