My name is Jacqui and I'm 43 years old.
Just under 24 hours ago I was diagnosed with Grade IIb cervical cancer.
I've told the people that matter most - my mother, my fiance A, my work, my friend SW and my other friends A&A. There's many more people to tell though, but at the moment I can't face it.
I am determined to fight it although feel very daunted by what's happened, and not really in control at the moment. There's so much going through my head. Practicalities of day to day living. Hospitals and treatment. Side effects.
It's 10 to 5 in the morning and my head's full of jumbled thoughts.
But I'm positive - the cancer hasn't spread to other organs, it's treatable and there's about a 70% survival rate. But I'm scared. It's a big thing I'm facing. A has given it the name "Drittsekk" - a Norwegian word meaning "bag of sh*t" which is very appropriate.
This may come across as very calm but that's how I am. No point being hysterical - it won't make things any better. But that doesn't mean I'm not scared, tearful or bewildered.
Mum is coming over tomorrow (today!) and A will be arriving tomorrow (this) evening. We'll cry together, then have a council of war.
There's another online community I'm a member of. I've been so touched by their response - a number of them have mailed me off board and offered support, help, a listening ear. I've never even met these people - their kindness is extraordinary.
Tears coming again, so signing off for now.
Jacqui
