Well, I never imagined I'd ever be writing my first blog ever on a cancer support website, and as a patient.
It's 8 days since my diagnosis, and I now accept that yes, I do have adenocarcenoma of the esophagus. The original endoscopy and CT scan indicate that it's early stage, and operable, but there's more diagnostics being lined up to find out exactly where this Beast within me resides. So, I'm waiting for dates for an ultrasound endoscopy, an ultrasound scan, and a staging laparoscopy. I have a meeting at the oncology clnic on New Year's Eve, where I get to meet the surgeons, consultants, nursing teams etc., and get to see the ITU where I'll be after the operation.
Today is Boxing Day, and yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. I have 3 kids, and somehow there's stil the nagging doubt at the back of my mind that this may be my last Christmas with them. I tried to shake that feeling away yesterday, but it was very persistant. Today, I'm back to my optimistic self, and ready to fight, and beat, this hellish thing!
Today, I feel better, and ready to continue to ensure that my body is well prepared for the fight ahead. I've dug the juicer out, and cleaned it up. It will be a well used machine in the weeks and months ahead! I'm going to use some money I got for Christmas to buy some super-duper bathroom scales, because I know that nutrition and fitness, and minimising weight loss are essential in this battle.
At 44 I'm young for this disease. I'm also fairly fit and healthy, and have none of the usual risk factors for this cancer. So, I know I'm unlucky to get it, but I will not wallow in self-pity, because I also know that the factors for survival are in my favour, and I'm well placed to have the necessary operation, and to fight, and win!
I also know that the love and support of my family, friends, and loved ones will help get me through, and that one day I will be thousands of miles from here, both mentally and physically, and togeter with the love of my life, embracing a long and happy future.
