So off i go to the hospital bright and early on a Monday morning.I had the op done,I was in the operating room for 6 hours which was quite a bit longer than it was supposed to be but i was just grateful that it was over.I was told that i would have tubes coming from everywhere after the op so I decided that I didnt want the kids to see me like that so I they didnt come to see me till the next day(I thought i looked ok by this point but a few weeks later they told me i looked like one of the Simpsons as my skin was so yellow!).
Stayed in hospital for a few days,was supposed to be in a lot longer but as im sure some of you will agree a hospital is no place to be when you feel ill,all i wanted to do was sleep!!
Day 10 after the op i went to my GP to get my staples removed,I had been complaining that I didnt feel well and that I was really hot,but they didnt really take a lot of notice of me until the nurse dropped the staples that she had removed onto my stomach,as she went to pick them up she remarked how how I felt(Yeah no s*** I thought).She goes off to get the Dr who comes to see me and decided that my incision is infected and that i should go back to the hospital and get some Antibiotics and possibly have the incision re-sewn.
The Gp told me I could go to the hospital where i had my op or i could go to the local hospital.I decided that I would go to the local hospital as hopefully i would only be there for a couple of hours.So off i went where I sat for four hours getting hotter and more irrate by the second.
I finally saw a Dr who told me my incision was fine but that I had a bile leak which had been leaking since the op,and that it had now turned into sepsis.I was told I would have to stay in and they would insert a drain.As this was Friday night this wouldnt be done until Monday morning.I told them ok then I would come back in on Monday morning.I was then told if i went home I would probably die tonight,I decided that was a better option than spending a weekend in hospital(I dont know what i was thinking at this point!!!) so i signed my self out even after 4 Drs telling me what would happen if I left.Luckily I came to my senses( remember its a womans perogative to change her mind).
Spent another 5 days in hospital,finally had my drain fitted on the Tuesday cos they forget about me on the Monday!! Went home on the Wednesday with drain strapped to my leg and strict instructions on emptying it and to make sure I measured the output.
I was due at the hospital 2 weeks later for my post op appointment so when the Consultants secretary called me and bought forward the appointment by a week i just thought he wanted to see me sooner because I had had the drain fitted.Oh how wrong was I!!!
I arrived for my appointment in a good mood,was feeling ok,could finally stand up straight after being hunched over like the hunchback for the last 5 weeks.I was also hoping that he would remove the drain.
First I saw the Registrar who asked me how i was blah blah blah.Then the Consultant came in with the nurse and they asked me was i on my own,I said no my best friend was with me out in the waiting room.They asked did i want her to come in,I said no I was fine!!!(I still had no clue even at this point)
Thats when he told me he had made a mistake and that the tumour was cancerous.All i remember him saying that he was very sorry but that he thought he had got it all.I then got up and walked out telling him that I had nothing to say to him.I was in shock when I walked out,My best friend was waiting for me and I just blurted it out to her "ive got cancer".She had lost both her parents a few years before within 18 months of each other so when I told her this she was probably in more shock than me.
The nurse made me an appointment to come back the next week to talk to the Consultant.I then spent the longest week of my life.I prepared a list of questions that I wanted to ask him but the hardest part of all was staying off the internet because I knew if I googled it I would scare the life out of myself.
In that week i blamed myself for putting off the op(never mind that I had nearly cancelled it),I was kicking myself for not having it done back in May.
I decided not to tell the kids or anyone else (except my brother) until after I had been back to see the consultant and to find out what the prognosis was.
To be continued
P.s I dont know if anyone is reading this but it feels good to actually write all this down.
