The envy of Sisyphus

1 minute read time.

I'm sure things aren't meant to be quite this hard. I had to call the out of hours doctor again last night - I was sick and fever-y, and had very bad tummy pains. This time, by way of variety, they sent us along to an out of hours clinic in Oxford, which was, I suppose, preferable to waiting in the house for someone to (possibly) turn up. Preferable for me, anyway; maybe less so for Judy, who doesn't like driving in Oxford, especially at 1.00 in the morning. Anyway, the doctor there wrote me out a prescription for some new stuff. Hurrah!

Today we went out to get it filled. It took nearly four hours, five different chemists, a call to the Sobell House Hospice helpline on a mobile fast running out of charge, and a consultation between pharmacist #5 and the out of hours clinic - which, of course, had a different doctor on duty by then - to get it done. Actually, it still isn't the exact prescription, the pharmacist got the doctors to agree to let him dispense something similar. God bless Woodstock Road chemists for services above and beyond, but is it any wonder I get stressed?

On Tuesday, when everyone gets back to work, I'm going to phone the Macmillan nurses and see whether we can get a check done to see if I need ascites drained again. I hope not, because it really hurts, but then again, so does pretty much everything. I also want to see if they'll consider giving me my first dose of chemo on the ward in case of side-effects. I was fine last time, but I was also a lot healthier last time. Well, no, that's not true, I had the chest problems then, but my stomach wasn't so bad. Anyway: chances are they'll say no, but it's worth a shot.

I wonder how many people just give up and die of cancer because they're tired of having to bloody well fight all the time?

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Hils,

    Seeing as though you couldn't get exactly what was on the prescription does that mean you are on alternative medicine? Wow that was shite for you and Judy having to play hunt the drugs, why must the medical profession test us when living with cancer is tough enough!!!!!

    Well along with everyone else I do hope the meds are working and you feel a lot better and don't feel like a rock in a hard place.

    Tight lines

    Tim xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Just caught up with this, sorry for lateness!

    What a stupid bloody pissflapping bastard thing to do to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Good thing I don't live closer or all those incompetent staff would all have singed eyebrows from my pissed off welsh dragon.

    Thanks goodness you found one place with some common sense. And insist on whatever treatment you want when you next go in.

    Much love and gentle cwtchs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi everyone

    Thank you all for your comments and advice and hugs. I've got back into a situation where I can't keep up with blog comments (because writing a blog takes it out of me, and I like to comment on other people's posts when I can), and I'm sorry about that, but I do appreciate everything you all say.

    The thing with the NHS, so I've found - your mileage may vary - is that the doctors, nurses, everyone on the frontline, are almost all wonderful: they know their stuff, and they want to help. But they're spread so thin, and there's so much red tape and administrative nonsense that sometimes they can't.

    LM - when I had chemo before, it was in the outpatients' day centre. There were beds there, and I got one for my first four sessions and my blood transfusion; the last two, after they'd taken me off Taxol, I just got a chair. But what I'd like this time is to be given at least the first dose on a ward, if only a day ward, so I could rest up for an hour or two afterward and see how I feel. Since it's going to be - I think - the same Taxol I had before, and I was okay with that (for given values of 'okay'; see previous blogs ...) it may not be necessary. I keep saying that I wasn't as ill when I had the last lot of chemo. Of course, I was, I had only just had my lung drained, but currently I have chronic stomach pain, and that scares me a bit. Wussy girl that I am.

    Anyway: there will be no giving up around here, not unless things get unthinkably worse - but it would be nice if everything were not such a struggle. Aside from everything else, it's very unfair on Judy, who has to come chasing around with me, and who gets just as frustrated as I do. And not at all happy to be dragged out to an out-of-hours clinic at 1.00 in the morning, either!

    Love and hugs all round,

    Hilary

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hilary, we don't expect a response from you, we just like blabbing on at you. I don't really even expect you to read all my comment! If I thought you felt obliged, I may not write so much,.. errr actually.. haha.

    anyway, I guess as i keep saying, Wales on the whole seems a little more sensible and helpful about things. Though having said that I got my chemo in a pump to take home so maybe they are even worse haha. I barely sat down... rigged up and on your way! Transfusion I got a nice bed though and she tilted her head at me as she offered me a bed. I remember thinking, oh gosh they feel sorry for me maybe they think I am not well.. hahaaa well, durr why else are you in for a transfusion eh?

    ...  and you are NOT a wuss!! Far from it! Ask them. I am sure they will oblige. Just be careful though cos last time you asked for a little lie down, you didn't come home!! Take your emergency bag with you just in case you get so comfy you want to stay again... (euphemism for mac nurse gets her act into gear and gets you drained at the same time)

    Glad to hear there is no giving up going on especially as you have got a cheap excuse to get front row seats for the Boss soon... play those cards and get wheelchaired up. No one will notice if you suddenly get up and have a bit of a boogie!

    Hey, I hear you are only 5 ft 2. same as me. Maybe I should become Average My, though I somehow suspect I am not average in most departments....

    No reply required or wanted. In fact no reading needed either except I should have written that at the beginning as you are here now. Shut up LM you are rambling. Ok.

    all the hugs xxxxxxxxx

     

     

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Dear Hils,

    I'm very late so please accept apologies and emphatically you are NOT a wuss or anything remotely resembling one. And Judy is truly heroic, what a star friend you've got there. You both deserve far better than what life is currently doing to you (shi****g) and soon.( BTW could you mensh to J. that I'm not being sniffy but don't seem to have enough time to play games on FB, though I'd like to ...)?

    If this weather ever cheers up ( a brief respite tomorrow they say) maybe it will help? Not with the out-of-hours services of course, they're almost irredeemable) but with the spirits. I'm a SAD person, very much affected by that sort of thing, so perhaps not relevant to you. But a little sunshine goes a long way .. well it has to here, doesn't it?

    Anyway, I just wanted to add my two penn'orth to everyone else's replies & let you know there's an old bat here thinking of you & wishing .. well, for you to get well.

    Love & hugs,

    xxx