I can turn you inside out

2 minute read time.

Last week started out promisingly enough, with a relatively uncomplicated call from the district nurse, a lovely visit to see Caro and her Maine Coons, including teeny-tiny mega-cute kittens, and a (again, relatively) pleasant trip to chemo - many chatty ladies in attendance this week; I don't get the full benefit of the chat, since I lapse into a coma as soon as they show me the Piriton, but I can hear it going on around me, and it's better than sitting in stony silence. And I was awake while nurse Debbie was holding forth on how the Fifty Shades trilogy ("I'd started, so I had to finish," she said) would make one decent, reasonable-length book if they cut out all the sex scenes. Although even so, I think she was being too kind.

Then I was sick on Tuesday evening. Violently sick. How sick? See title. Other stuff too, but I'm not going into that. It was all most unpleasant, to the point that I wondered whether we should contact the triage team at the Churchill - but Judy said they'd probably just tell us to call the out-of-hours doctor, and you know how well that works, so we didn't.

And that was pretty much it for the rest of the week. I did manage to drag myself out of bed on Friday, to keep my counselling appointment at the Maggie's Centre and talk to a very helpful and efficient lady about applying for Disability Living Allowance, but even so they had to do most of the talking.

I really have trouble considering myself disabled, by the way. Okay, I can barely walk as far as the corner shop, and I'm asleep something like 18 hours a day, but nevertheless ... But if that's the label I have to wear to get the benefits I need, then I suppose wear it I must.

I'm never that sick after chemo, either. I'm never sick at all after chemo. The Carboplatin used to upset my stomach occasionally, thereby necessitating emergency stops at Sainsbury's in Kidlington (they have customer toilets, I didn't just poo in the car park), but all the Taxel usually does is make me tired. Tireder. This was more like food poisoning; but, on the other hand, it's the second time it's happened - the first was when Judy was away and I ended up sending out pleas for help to the internet, pleas that went unanswered as the internet, unlike Faron Young, is asleep at four in the morning - so I don't know.

Nothing new there. I don't know anything much. Certainly nothing useful.

This week? Well, so far this morning my sister-in-law's birthday present has failed to arrive, there was a wet patch on the doormat under the front door (the cats? But the cats are usually so good), and I had a letter from the Inland Revenue telling me I owe them £150. Also the car is leaking coolant as though there were no tomorrow, and we have to go down to Bristol at the weekend.

I do not think I like the look of this week.

Anonymous
  • Hi Hilary.I am so with LM on the vomity thing I'm phobic as well anything digested or un digested should not come out of that orifice its horrible and I'm sorry you had to have that on top of everything else.I hope you feeling better now.Cant really comment on the fifty shades of porn my friend did give me a resume' and said pretty much the same as Nurse Debbie and like Debbie she too had to read all three.How true bills arrive right on time though in our house they are hard to read if the dog gets to the post before we do.The tax people told me I owed them money last year I told them I couldn't pay it back all at once so paid £10 a month.Recently I got a letter saying it was wrong and they in fact owed me so got a rather large refund in the form if a cheque and I made sure I got to the post before the dog when that came through the letter box.I hope you get all the benifits your entitled to you have paid in and your entitled and I wouldn't worry what ever liable they put on it.its a pity they don't call it ability living allowance.I hope the present turns up soon and that you get some better days It's more than time you had some of the good stuff and less of the crappy crap you have been having much love and huge hugs Cruton xxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Aw Hilary

    So sorry to hear how things are . Are they giving you that pill (forgot name, sorry) - not Domperidone or Mateclopramide - the £80+ a pop pill which really shuts down the sickness? It's kept under the counter at the chemo suite in the Churchill.

    Please look after yourself. 

    I put HMRC in the same box as cancer, and you know what we all think of that. Good luck claiming everything you can.

    But most of all, know that we are all here trying to support and encourage you. And I take my hat off to you, brave lady. One day at a time, a few hours at a time, I hope things improve for you.

    Little Jen X

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Can't think of anything uplifting at all to say but those before me have.
    Hate the pukiness. Hate bills. Hate the unreliability of the postal service. We order stuff online and it never comes when we're home: they lie in wait until we go out then pretend they tried to deliver it.

    Hate not being able to help.

    Have loads of gentle hugs x x x

    And a very big spoon. For use as a weapon, if need be, against the Forces of Greed.

    lots of love

    x x x