The Lead Up..........
This is a retro blog as I am almost at the 1 year anniversary of my craniotomy. This day last year (was the 27th) I had been taking my tablet regime in readiness for the big op. I had already been to the hairdressers and had layers cut in my hair (boo hoo and turns out I shouldn't have bothered lol).
So here's me before I went to hospital (not taken on the day mind, the day after THE HAIRCUT!).
Look so happy with my layers don't I 
Anyway, Tony and I headed over to Romford in the early afternoon and I was shown to my suite. ..... currently occupied by two lovely ladies and it had its own bathroom/toilet within the ward (unlike PAH). I sat at the table in the ward waiting for the junior doctor to "book me in" and go through some forms. He also took a vial of blood from me and inserted my canula - which was sooooooo bloody painful! He did get called away during the process and he left my notes on the table ....... so whatdya think I did! Yep I peeped - wished I hadnt. It said "probably malignant", I was fighting back tears reading this as its was the first time I had seen or heard this word with regards to my tumour. I was trying to be brave as I was just sat in the ward for all to see!
Next the gorgeous and I mean gorgeous "Dr Nick" - he looks nothing like his Simpsons counterpart, rather he was a very goodlooking young spanish understudy to my Neurosurgeon Mr Brecknall. He asked if I was OK and went through some more forms, I explained about the "malignant" word and he tried to reassure me that its standard wording (yeah right) but those dark eyes and dazzling smile almost did the trick. He also got my consent to use whatever was left of "buttercup" after my own biopsies etc for research, better than her going in the bin I reckon!
Next I was sent off for an MRI of me bonce.....to check against the one I had taken on Christmas Eve, that done it was round to X-Ray and I had my boobs photographed, thats a photo that will not be appearing in any blog LOL As the radiographers stood behind their little box I heard one say "why are we x-raying this woman, she was only born in 1967" - only LOL I like her style!
Then it was back to the ward and sit around waiting for another doc to come and ask me the same million questions I had been asked a thousand times before - oh but you do exaggerate Debs I hear you cry - yeah maybe but thats what it feels like! Only this doc was obviously tied up somewhere and dinner time was fast approaching. At this point Matron gave me the all clear to leave the ward and go and eat supper in the restaurant with my hubby. But I was told to wait for the doc - "I run this ward" she says with a smile....I didn't waste any time going off for my last supper!
We went back to the ward and Tony left at the end of visiting, they did say he could come back and take me to theatre in the morning but I said No. It was hard enough saying goodbye to him now let alone again. Besides I was the first scheduled op at 8.30am and Tony would have to leave before the kids went to school to come and see me and I didn't want them to have any more interuptions than absolutely necessary.
So on my todd and bored within half an hour the "lovely lady" opposite, strikes up conversation......what you in for? who's your doctor? I tell her and she tells me "I should be OK the young ones don't die very often".....oh that has boosted my confidence before brain surgery no end!!!! Around 10pm the junior doc finally comes to see me and I go over the whole sorry saga from Seizure to present date, she does some quick neural tests, fills out the form and listens to me whilst on the phone to another department - how good is she at multitasking. She goes and then I get the late night visit from the guy who's gonna put me to sleep (not gonna attempt to spell tha anaes.......oligist word). He asks me what I weigh, I say thats rather personal and to be honest I don't know as I never get on scales, they have never told me anything nice or that I really wanted to know. He jokes that he will bring a pair into the ward and make me jump on in front of everyone and read out the weight 
cheeky bugger. He seemed nice enough, so he'll do!
I'd like to say I got some sleep that night but I'd be lying. My eyes leaked constantly and all manner of terrible thoughts were going through my head - is this my last night alive? is this my last night before I become a vegetable and a burdon to my family? Will I remember who I am etc.........the demons were out in full force and "buttercup" had invited them all in for one last party! I watched Goonies on my sons Playstation Portable and some of Kung Fu Hustle........still sleep eluded me, I had pulled the curtains round hours ago as I just didn't want to talk to anyone or have anyone see me crying. So around 3am I put my iPod on and waved my arms around madly to Billy Idol's "dancing with myself" and Jock Jams "everybody dance now"........music to move to, but not sleep to.
I was woken around 6am and given a beautiful floral hospital gown and some very sexy surgical stockings! I was told to go and have a shower to be ready for my op - oh I forgot to ask, do I wear underwear or not? Didn't wanna get down to theatre and have them think I was a cheap date with no knickers.......but then again I having a catheter so.......best leave em off. The surgical stockings were size Large and came up over my knees and halfway up my thighs - the gown draped on the floor - I felt like a little girl playing dress up in a grownups clothes!
Around 7.30am Mr B came to see me and reassured me that he wasn't going to lose me today and that he aimed to have me home by Friday - a two day stay wohoooooooooo
............... and you'll just have to tune in on Thursday for the next thrilling instalment complete with photos taken after the op and before staple removal.....betcha can't wait.
Thought for today:
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White
