I wrote a blog, but didn't realise the site was down again last night, so when I published it, it disappeared into the ether lost forever as I didn't copy before publishing. Note: Must copy blog before publishing in case it gets lost.
Managed to come downstairs for 4 days in a row, defiantly feeling better as asking for cups of tea and glasses of Whisky.
Until Friday, when hubby felt tired and just wanted to rest in bed. Saturday, he didn't feel upto coming down stairs and spent the day in bed. He said he felt constipated again and started with the Laxitose, which he decided actually doesn't help and makes the pain worse.
Saturday night he was moaning in pain and started being sick actually bringing liquid up, and I was up emptying the bowl and being attentive and supportive to him. As a result I got little to no sleep.
Our youngest who usually ventures into our bed in the night was at a Beaver Sleepover from 11am Saturday to 10:30am Sunday.
Sunday morning after the other kids have had their breakfast, hubby decides he wants to go and sit on the toilet. He manages with help from me and his frame to get there okay. However on the way back (about 10 normal paces from toilet to bed) he collapses, I was behind him so it was a guided sit down rather than a fall down and no injuries. He said his legs just gave way, he is unable to stand up again but tries to get onto all fours to crawl and just ends up laying in the hall. I get a Pillow and a blanket and turn the frame around and prop hubby up against it so he is comfy.
It is now 9:30am and I need to leave about 10am to go and collect youngest, who will be upset if I am late as all the other parents will be there.
So decided to ring my sister and her hubby, as no time to wait for an ambulance. They arrived just on 10am, and I dash out the door, leaving her to keep an eye on hubby. When we return my sister helps me get hubby back to the bed.
Monday morning our mac nurse arrives for her scheduled visit from my phone call last week to see how hubby is, and decides that it would be best to try and get him into the hospice to assess what equipment he might need, such as a commode and a topper for the bed to reduce the chance of getting bed sores.
Last week I would have snapped up this chance of a break, but this week it just seems so inconvenient. Trying to fit in visits between school runs and dinner times and Beavers and Cubs and Homework and Reading and everything else. At least with hubby at home I can sit on the bed keeping him company and fold clothes and pair socks. I don't think they would be too happy if I took it into the hospice to do.
Also the nurse started asking if hubby had given any thought as to if he wants to die at home or at the hospice. What? I thought it was just constipation. He says he will go along with whatever is easiest for everyone, I would like to be with him, I think, or at least have the chance to be. Which if he is at home I can do, if he is in the hospice it will be harder.
Then I mention that I need to contact the hospital for some more heperin injections (hospital only drug) and the nurse says to wait as they (the hospice) may decide he doesn't need them anymore. How do they know? Has the blood clot in his lung miraculously disappeared? Is there something they know the consultants don't?
When it was prescribed the doctor said he would be on it for at least 6 months, he's only been on it for 2 months.
Maybe it would be better without the injection, my internet research showed that it would certainly be quicker he would feel rough and then collapse into unconsciousness and death would follow quickly after. We have talked and considered this option recently as he is getting weaker and really doesn't do pain.
Before you all ask, no we haven't been prescribed any morphine.
But I have upped his steroids, and I am trying to get him to take more co-dyramol, which he says are only for his headache and doesn't think they will help his stomach pains.
This morning the mac nurse rang and said they do have a bed, and she will organise an ambulance to come and take hubby in, it will be with us between half an hour and four hours. He is really starting to slur his words, and complains that his headache is getting worse. Hopefully they will be able to get him sorted out and get him home soon.
Take care
