Well, as the other one seemed to work, here goes with the second one.
Because hubby was getting very agitated he was prescribed Medazipan, which I keep calling Marzipan!
This helped to make hubby relaxed by Friday and not agitated. The nurses also informed me on Friday that hubby is struggling to swallow and is no longer eating or drinking anything.
Friday and Saturday he would open one eye but not for long, drifting and very sleepy. But smiles at things you say, especially memories and things about him that he did or said.
Friday my Mum and Sister + her husband are away in Torquey, rang my Dad and he said he was fine to have kids for the night. I stayed at the hospice.
Saturday my Mum and Sister + her husband travel back from Torquey (a day early) the kids stay at my Mum and Dads. I stayed at the hospice.
Sunday morning, I woke up and said "Good Morning, I love you" hubby said "I love you too". I phoned my mum and asked if she could bring the kids to visit cause I wanted to see them, they were their normal boisterous selves - don't know why I was missing them.
My sister and her husband were on their way to the hospice.
My mum, my youngest and I were in the room, and my youngest was saying "when Dad dies can I have this thing that was dad's" "can I have that thing that was dad's" then said "Why has dad gone a funny colour".
Hubby drew his last breath at 12:20 noon on Sunday 25 September 2011.
My Mum took him out of the room, and I called a nurse. My mum went to the car park to meet my sister. The nurse confirmed that hubby had gone.
I went out to the car park, my first instinct was to not let the children see their dad - motherly protection. But the youngest already has. So decided to tell the children and give them the chance to decide for themselves.
So we told them, and my middle child said "No, he isn't" I asked if they wanted to see him and they all said yes. We went back into the room and my middle child went up put his cheek near hubbys mouth and said "I can't feel anything, he is dead". My youngest child put his hand near hubbys mouth and said "yes, I can't feel any air". They all said Goodbye and then my mum took them home to her house.
I stayed and sorted out his stuff with my sister. Then we went to my mum's. My mum cooked all of us dinner.
Now sorting out all the paperwork required and organising the funeral.
I feel fine, yes I am sad, but it was expected. Strangely I felt more upset on Thursday when he was agitated and pushing me away, than I do now. Everyone seems to be expecting me to collapse in a pool of tears, but I feel a sense of relief that he is no longer suffering and is released from this dreaded disease, it can't get him anymore, it can't make him suffer any more.
I have obviously over prepared the children as well as they don't seem to be too phased by the passing of their dad. They have taken it really well, but I think it will hit them at the funeral.
I think now I am glad he was in the hospice, I think it would have been harder if he was at home.
