Well I am having a CT scan next Wednesday. My surgeon told me last week that my left breast and lymph nodes are coming off. Apparently my cancer is very rare, less than 1% of women get it, so I had a five second "moment" of pride and snobbery. I'm a Bentley amongst a sea of Audis, I thought before my Bentley did 5 forward flips on the M1 and hit the C for Cancer crash barrier.
I'm now half waddle half jogging for half hour each day in order to be a physically healthy and mentally ready athlete for my marathon ahead. I'm finding myself stumbling along hugging my left breast so the cancer doesn't wobble and flail into my lungs kidneys and liver as I fly/chug past a very disconcerted Postman.
I'm social distancing my breasts at bath time. Luckily I'm blessed by having such flexible breasts they can hide under each armpit to avoid contagion! The right one has to stay, end of.
I find myself cuddling my breast whilst watching Eastenders. Never has a stretched and saggy breast been so beloved. It's fed three daughters, had affectionate lovers and now it is more important to me than ever before. Quite frankly I cannot imagine life without it.
I hope someone on here takes time to indulge me in reading this. I will continue to write as my treatment moves on. I promise not to depress you by dwelling on the horrible. All negative has an opposite positive.
So for now I will toss my very expensive dyed hair, raise a shaped eyebrow and bat prolific lashes and continue to wax off the hairs that annoy me on my body. Who knows? I may wear a low top this weekend and dare to shimmy as I jog past (God help the postman) a house near you.....Being bald and brave has no place at the moment my friends xx
