What were the moments of support that mattered to you?

1 minute read time.
What were the moments of support that mattered to you?

Cancer is one of the toughest things someone can go through. When cancer shows up, silence often follows. This is something Community members have called Cancer ghosting, and we explore this experience more in the Cancer ghosting blog.

People living with cancer tell us they don't want to be a burden but still need emotional and practical support from their loved ones. Sometimes friends, family and colleagues can struggle to find the right words to say and not know how to best support you. 

What supportive moments made a difference to you?

We are asking you what your family and friends have done to show they care and be supportive.

  • Was it stopping by with warm meals?
  • Meeting up with them once a week for a cuppa and a chat about life beyond cancer? 
  • Care packages of things to help you deal with side effects?

No matter how small or thoughtful the moments of support may be, sharing meaningful acts of kindness can offer useful suggestions to those who want to help but may not know how.

Join the 'What supportive moments mattered to you? discussion in the Cancer chat forum to tell us more. 

No matter how small or thoughtful the moments of support may be, sharing the meaningful acts of kindness may provide some useful ideas to those who want to help, but may not know how.

Madiso
  • Hi  

    So sorry to hear you and your brother have experienced cancer ghosting. It’s reassuring to hear you have the support of your family, and they empower you to speak up for the support you need.

    I hope you will continue to use the Online Community when you need some peer support. Please remember you can also chat to the Support Advisors and Nurses in our Ask an Expert section.

    If you need any help using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to email Community@macmillan.org.uk or send a private message to the Moderator account.

    Best wishes, 

    Megan 
    Macmillan's Online Community team

  • Hi  

    It sounds like you were surrounded by the kindest of people. Dealing with hair loss can bring lots of emotion, so it's lovely to hear your hairdresser was supportive and understanding. Green heart

    Best wishes 

    Megan
    Macmillan's Online Community team

  • My supportive moments: people showing up,  and either taking me out to a restaurant or cafe..so I'm not stuck indoors ( can't currently drive as got neuropathy)...

    Or just like my sis in law today..drove  40 miles here..with food, cooked it, washes up etc..then drove home... thats caring

    Unsupportive and would happily have advice: a friend whenever you say you have a pain, or a symptom says straight away..me too, I have that and then continues to talk about her pain..I do t want constant sympathy  but at least a bit would be nice... or at least not take my pains as hers... 

    She also keeps saying she had cancer and half a lung removed...she had a cancer scare... was a "mass" and they removed it via keyhole...not cancerous, no treatment even after.. it makes me feel she's trivialising mine..and others when she pipes up in groups saying I had cancer, I had half my lung removed... am I just being petty to be upset...I know this treatment make us more annoyed etc 

  • Hi  

    Thank you for sharing the supportive moments that meant a lot to you. Others who have a similar experience with friends reacting like this when talking about your cancer may have some advice. You are welcome to post in our forums to start a conversation about this.

    In the meantime, I would like to share a link to the Talking about cancer’ booklet that you may find helpful to look through. It includes some useful guidance with understanding people’s responses and how you can put your feelings into words. All Macmillan information booklets can be viewed online, downloaded or ordered from the website for free.

    Alongside accessing peer support in our forums, the Macmillan Support Line has Cancer Support Advisors and Nurses who are also there to support you. Sometimes it can help to talk things through with someone who’s there to listen. They’re available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00email or live webchat.

    If you need any help using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to email Community@macmillan.org.uk or send a private message to the Moderator account.

    Best wishes

    Megan
    Macmillan's Online Community team