Well, tomorrow (Sat. 9th) will be one year since dad passed away. Today was mum and dad's wedding anniversary. They had been married 43 years. I had stayed overnight with dad in the hospital and went to the car in the morning to bring up the flowers I had got him to give to mum and the last thing he said to me was, "You're an awfy lassie". I left him soon after and didn't see him alive again as he passed away next morning unexpectedly.
Like others have said before, it doesn't seem like a year. I guess we just try to get through each day the best we can and before we know it, time has passed. I still dream about dad most nights which I love because he is so alive and well in them. I do know he has cancer in all of my dreams, but mostly I am saying to him that he looks so well perhaps the docs will be able to do something now, give him treatment and perhaps cure him. If only! He didn't even get the chance to start chemo, albeit it would probably only have given him a little more time with us, but we'll never know.
I am coping relatively well, thanks to the antidepressants I am taking. I was supposed to go for bereavement counselling today, although I'm not sure I still need it, but decided to go anyway as I had been offered it. I say supposed because the address I thought I was given (in a telephone call) was not where I thought it was to be. So, off I set on a wild goose chase to another 3 places where no-one had heard of me. Obviously, my reputation doesn't go before me as previously thought lol. Don't know what I will do next. I might pursue it or I might just leave things for a while and see how I feel.
Tomorrow we are all heading to the cemetery to lay wreaths, then going for a family lunch to the local pub. Afterwards we are all coming back to my house to watch the Grand National. Dad loved the National so it will be really sad without him here. We've always made a family day of it.
Love to all. I hope you all have as good a weekend as possible.
Christine xx
