I'd told my parents after my first appointment at the Breast Cancer Clinic. My mum Facetimed me as I got back and I hadn't spoken to her for a few days so I knew if I didn't answer she would wonder why. I answered but couldn't stop crying so my lovely partner Dave spoke to her and my dad and explained what had happened. I did eventually speak to her and they came over the following morning as I couldn't face going into school. My mum was convinced that it was going to be a cyst. But I just knew it wasn't.
I didn't tell my two children until I'd had it confirmed - I mean why worry them if there's no need. I have two boys who are 21 & 18. They have both turned out to be great kids. My eldest doesn't live with us anymore so I had to text him to ask him to come over. He text me back..."What's going on mum? Am I in trouble" 
made me laugh.
Telling them was so hard. They don't want a mum that's ill. They want someone they can rely on and help them and support them - not the other way round. My youngest son got very upset, my eldest was more calm and asked lots of questions. He was positive - he must take after me.
I told my friends at work. I work in a small, village primary school and we are like one big family. I text my two brothers and my cousins who are like sisters. I wanted people to know. It's cancer, it's not something to be ashamed of. People should talk about it and not fear it. I have got cancer, I'm living with it! I'm still here.
So, this week, the flowers and gifts started arriving. Each one makes me cry because it makes me feel so loved. My mum says..."You're special, people love you".
I'm not ill and feel a bit of a fraud. Tomorrow is MRI day.
