Not a 'Belle Jour' at all.
It was helping - this writing a blog business. But it is slightly creepy, this idea that you have, foolishly, trusted people on a site like this, with things you would not have said to anyone you felt did not understand and to ....well, blah, to all that.
Do you know how I really spent the day - after I have picked myself up from the stuff going on here? On the phone, to explain to the GP that to someone with cancer of the oesophageous, who can eat very little, and to whom they are giving no hope at all, huge pills for constipation are not a very good idea. And yes, that opiates will make it worse, I understand. But the paracetamol are not working. So, what about something in liquid form?
And is brachytherapy an option? Yes, I knew no-one did it up here, but I will find someone who does.
Yes, I realise that laser is probably not done here, but we are prepared to travel.
And then I try to make sure that every lump and bump is out of the food. And it is still not working, but we carry on.
Or should I say that I have been emaiing someone who is doing clinical trials, a last chance for chemo? And could we have the details? We are not interested in a blind trial ...blah, blah ...
But you don't want to hear about this, and I didn't want to talk about it.
And no, we are not finding it easy to cope, which is why I found myself here in the first place.
