Hello, my faithful readers. I know there are one or two of you. Are you there? Are you awake?
Here is Buzzie's thought for the day - I would like to see if it strikes a chord with other carers ...
Do you remember me saying that my husband and I had entered into the parallel universe which I think of as the ‘cancer world’. Until recently I assumed we had entered this world together. In a sense we had – this disease affects us both. But in another sense we entered into this world through completely different doorways.
I had thought we were journeying together through this parallel universe but in a very obvious sense we are not and can not. In fact, there is a yawning gap between our experiences and it is one we have not been able to talk about.
So I am going to try another metaphor.
In our house we are finding ourselves having to live with an invisible and very unwelcome guest, a guest who is with us all the time, hovering over everything that we do and who, like all uninvited guests, is particularly present at mealtimes.
I have been scouring the world for almost a year to find the ultimate weapon which will send this guest into oblivion: shiny weapons devised by the clever people in white coats, and subtle potions from the purveyors of miracle cures which promise to attack this guest from within.
And as I witter on about some rare nut oil from the Amazonian rain forests that is the latest miracle cure, and stir a little more turmeric in the soup, and blend the raspberries into the smoothies and remind him to take his tinctures that come all the way from China, I realize that I am on the sidelines- the real struggle is playing out between this uninvited guest and my husband. And he is not talking about this battle, and I feel hopelessly ill-equipped to help.
But I can, at least, take the dogs for a walk in the rain. Just as well I have recently bought some shockingly unglamorous weather-proof gear for just such an eventuality.
Walking the dogs in wet weather, like unblocking drains, had always been my husband's job ...
