Don't take my stabilisers off just yet, I'm not sure I can fly without my magic feather.

So there I was at my last appointment with my consultant, lying on the examination bed, naked from the chest down. The two attending nurses being both level headed and levelheaded in their attempt to keep my dignity intact. It doesn't work, but we probably all felt better for the pretence. The area of interest we were pretending disinterest in was lying forlorn covered in lubricating gel and whatever fluid had been squirted into my bladder. Mr J stood, camera connected to me in a most peculiar way, expressing approval of the view within. The memory always comes to mind of war films when the submarine captain takes his eye away, slaps the handles back into place and orders down periscope. One part of my brain almost braced for the pain, whilst the rest of it is braced for bad news. The background pings of the sonar offering a comfortable nostalgic ambience to this scene.

Eveything is fine and we're cooking on gas, and he gives me the happy news that if the next inspection is equally good he will lengthen the interval between viewings to every 12 months. After the thank you's and a handshake I can return to my bed for the hour, wet & sticky, with bladder bursting for urgent release.

As I ponder more on the idea of going a whole year between peeps in the peephole (sorry couldn't resist that one) I have another mental picture elbowing for position at the front of my cranial cinema screen. You should be starting to see I do a lot of mental cinema. But in spite of a lengthy pause sitting at the kitchen table, I am getting the creeping feeling that I am uneasy with such a gap between viewings of my interior decor. Memories of the young Dumbo teetering nervously on the burning building holding his magic feather play thick and fast. Six months intervals are my magic feather, and I'm not sure I can fly without them. Now how did an elephant analogy find it's way into a blog about my nether regions, surely the wrong place for it.

But away from this to matters mundane, The icy footpath outside is reducing at about the same rate as the scab on my elbow - Don't ask!! I'm just glad it was midnight and nobody was there to laugh at me.  My reasons for hibernating are going just as fast and I have to rejoin the real world. So it will be back to the routine of washing coaches and cleaning interiors. Goodness knows it's needed, we have had no water in the yard for some considerable time due to frozen pipes. But as I look out of the kitchen window there is a light dusting of snow falling, this shouldn't stick though. So it's a paperwork day today, don't you just love 'em to bits.