It is now day 23 since they asked me if I wanted resus if Bert needed it. They stopped all treatment except sedation and pain control 9 days ago, I have lived in his room never leaving it in all that time. They tell me on a daily basis that the end is near. He has a dreadful cough, secretions on his chest, bedsores and is obviously in pain at times. He is on a syringe driver for pain control and sedation. also getting breakthrough Morpine and Midazolam as and when required. They expected him to die a couple of days at the most after treatment stopped. I honestly don't know why he is still here with me. It is torture watching him go through all of this. He stops breathing for longer pauses every day but still he is here.
While I love him to bits I don't know how much longer I can watch this. It is so difficult. Not just for me but the family also.
Love and Hugs
Teri
