Still Crying. (Tongue in Cheek)

1 minute read time.
Went for my 3 week post op check up today following my breast reconstruction, saw my lovely consultant Dr X. Hi Ange he said how are you, am fine thanks but think I have a little seroma on my back. Jumped up on the bed, well didnt jump havnt got the f*********g energy but sort of shuffled and slithered in to place. I am that use to being poked and prodded that i dont even wear a gown now so their I am breathing in, veins in neck ready to burst, showing my lovely new left titty off. Well even tho I say it myself says Dr X its absolutely fab, yes I agree with him, but can you tell me did you use an implant (its a bit on the large size you c but am not complaining) No Ange all your own FAT. Mmmmmmmmm I thought all my own fat, so its official Iam a FFB. Ok does seem to be a little fluid on your back so I will aspirate it, Dr X washes hands then menacingly approaches with what can only be described as a bicycle pump, you will feel a little prick Ange but its shouldnt hurt or he might have said a little sting cant remember.!!!! 4 full kidney bowls later I am ready to leave, decided against having my right chest expander pumped up coz by this stage I was all pumped out. Couldnt wait to get home and weight myself after all 4 kidney bowls must weigh quite a few litres, boy was I in for a shock Ive actually put another half a stone on in three weeks FFS. Anyway at this moment in time I am still crying, mascara running down my cheeks, looking like Alice Cooper, and all because I am cooking curry and chopping onions, Ive tried the "spoon in your mouth, standing on one leg, singing Auld Lang Syne theory, but the tears have still not abated. Can anyone out their please help me, how do you peel onions without crying???????? P.S To add insult to injury Dr X gave me an injection of steriod does that mean that my moon face will be even moonier when I get up in the morning get wot I mean.!!!
Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Started by using the fork upside down in the mouth, then discovered they didn't make me cry any more.  Anyway, I keep the cut end down on the chopping block, cut in four lengthwise again, hold it all together and slice back towards your fingers.  Most of the fumes stay on the chopping board.  

    Grating horseradish is much worse.

    Stuff my weight.  I feel better,  I am better, I'm going to be OK.

    Rwth

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    chop top off, peel the onion, cut in half from root down then chop each half as required from top down to root

    chief cook & bottle washer paul

  • What I do is cheat.... buy ready chopped and cooked onions in a tin. I think they're called Eazy Onions. There's about the equivalent of six onions in a tin so I use half and freeze half. Brilliant!

    Good luck with your seroma - had one of those two. I felt rather like a camel storing water in a hump!

    Best wishes,

    KateG

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    What a great idea kathryn but why stop at just peeling the onions might as well go the whole bluddy  hog and make the curry.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thanks for the tip taygus goggles mmmmmmmmm trouble is I would probably end up looking like chubby brown or even worse christopher biggins,