Blimey that last post was a bit heavy, didnt realise how down I had got. Im better now :)
A lot has gone on over the past two weeks and I wont bore you with the down bits.
We do have laughter in our lives and that is what I am going to share with you now.
Negative followed by a Positive is a good place to start I think.......
For those that dont know, Dave had the floor of his mouth removed and rebuilt, this has left him with few taste buds, limited tongue movement, scar tissue (cut from left to right ear) and obviously a lot of nerve damage. A daily battle that has left him deep in depression and me in despair on many occassions. He doesnt like taking pills...who does...and he wouldnt listen when I said he should take pain killers regular as this would help. Last visit to oncology, his surgeon told him how impotant it is to take the pain relief as obviously his mood would improve greatly if free of the pain.......YEAH he now takes the wonder pill twice a day and has been happier, along with the anti-depressants.
The Negative......he was very quiet on friday, going back into long periods of just starring into space, not talking to me. At first I put it down to the funeral the day before but as the day went on I had to ask him what was troubling him. "Hate being the way I am now"...here we go again, the downhill spirral. To cut a long story short I made him have something to eat and a cup of tea as we were having a later than usual dinner. I noticed he kept prodding his mouth....."whats wrong love"....he went off upstairs to come back shortly with a beaming smile like my old David...
The Positive......."I thought I had found another lump, its been worrying me all day, I wasnt going through another op Shaz, didnt know how to tell you"......."so whats changed Dave"......"I had to look in the mirror to see where the lump was and guess what!!!....it was a bloody grain of rice". ..."well you have always said you would never starve love as there is always something left behind"....
We cried with relief and pissed ourselves laughing, this bloody rollercoaster is never ending. So quickly our mood can change from good to bad then good again.
We went to dinner at no.1 sons yesterday. Our little star Honor kept us entertained throughout the meal with her humming the theme tune of "strictly come dancing" followed by her swan lake impression. Her test results from hospital were favourable, only 1/3 of her heart is working, she has been on new medication but hasn't had long enough to see if it is helping. The Brompton want to see her in 12 months (obviously they are really pleased with her progress) mummy cant wait that long (glass always half empty, not looking at the positive) so they agreed to bring the appointment forward, now 7 months. She has not taken a step back in any way shape or form, but too early to tell if improved much. The measurements are so tiny from one check up to the next as it has always been 4 monthly, hopefully we will see something more positive in 7 months time.
We had a great weekend, our daughter invited us for Christmas dinner, that will be a first in 21 years. Its not that she dont like us ha ha.....we had been married before, now there are too many mumd and dads, we chose to invite the kids to ours or just told them not to worry about us. It made things less stressfull all round.
The dog has broken the dog flap......she sucks her bed like a dummy, she has been on medication which gives her a new lease of life which in turn reverts her to a puppy on many occassions. This other day she decided to drag her bedding into the garden through the dog flap.......hope there is a spare £45 for another one ha ha.
