Well after the tears had stopped and the phone calls made....a few cross words and the upset, we talked for hours.
I flipped out a bit...lost all control... became a blubbering mess for a while which upset Dave tremendously.
Both back on track now, he now knows how his depression is affecting me also....if he is having a down day it drags me down too....been going on for months and I just filled up and overflowed. With all those tears I never shed a single bloody ounce.
Debbie (Mac nurse) has rung to let me know what happened with her attempts at getting some info on Mental Healths aims at getting Dave on the right track........Bloody useless bunch of w*****s. Told her the same info as me....dont have councellors in there department but happy to discharge him if that is what he wants. Basically they either section you for ex amount of days or dish out pills that they up on your next visit. What a load of bull.
Going back to his councillor isnt that easy either....Debbie was told that he may not get to see his old one as her work load will have already been planned out...
So I explained all that again to Dave..big sigh, sad face...can see the worry creeping back on his face....also explained that if he wanted to speak to a Macmillan councellor that could be arranged and appointment made within 10 days, either way he will have to see someone new. He wasnt over the moon at the prospect but understood and said "will try anything to get me out of this hole".
Now I have to point out something about My David........LM gets shiny things, Sunny drinks Gin out of a teapot......I get poo from the dogs, shit machines.......and when Im upset and Dave notices (well he couldn't not notice this time) he wants to treat me.....so I got two Harry Potter films to add to my collection, Im just a big kid at heart :) Then we went away for a few days in our caravan.
The weather was fantastic. We ate good food, had a good book each to read, had long walks...well he did with the little dog, f.a.c wouldn't walk once she had done her business, laid in bed Sat and Sun morning watching the rugby, he even dried up...WHAT I hear you gasp!! I can count on one hand how many times he has done that.....always had a kid at home, then a dishwasher, a real one :) Daughter and son-in-law came to see us and Dave was planning another weekend away with them for Halloween, having a fancydress party as it has escalated to about 15 vans coming away Ha Ha.
Came home yesterday, very tired cos we did nothing really except chill. Still relatively happy until earlier this evening......f.a.c of a dog upset him.
What I am about to tell you is seriously not funny...............much!!!
Dave decided he wanted to make some pasta parcel thingys, him and flour have a wonderful time around my kitchen....anyway I have to help too, so, There I am holding the pasta as it comes out of the rolling machine, out the corner of my eye I see f.a.c raise her head then move back quickly....not thinking much about it I continue my duty. When he went to lay it over the back of the chair.....yes you guessed it..f.a.c had nicked his previous length of pasta, gone in one gulp, pmsl but very quietly. Did put a damper on the rest of the evening which is sad because before the depression he would have been angry at first then laugh about "what a little cow she is" 10 mins later.
Thursday he is at Mental Health in the morning and Im going with him yeah! He never asks questions and that was one of the things I pointed out to him, we need to know what they will do, can do... go to this appointment, see what happens then we know what steps to take after.
Tomorrow is another day, probably the same shit but hey ho
love to you all xxxx
