Friday 25th November 2016
Well I don't know what to feel today, I'm up, temperature taken, got to sort out a wig appointment this morning, tidy around, pop to the shops to get a baby soft tooth brush, and then thats it, third trip to the hospital this week, but this is the biggie, chemo starts at 1.30pm. Hopefully the last visit there for twenty one days.
I feel that at least I am doing something about this mess now.
The last three weeks have been an unimaginable hell, (much of it private ) Ive never written a blog or diary but I am going to look back and read it one day (not quite ready yet its too upsetting) and realise how things can get better, even in the most awful times, and not to jump to conclusions when you think the worst. The problem is that when I get good news, something bad always comes along to balance it out, so I'm never in the zone of enjoying the good bit for long, I almost immediately begin to worry about the next stage. I really need to work on that.
A funny thing happened at the hospital yesterday, the chemo nurse was just about to start with going through all the forms explaining the side effects, etc, she got called away, when she returned, she said, "sorry about that, but there is a lady having her chemo and she has a headache, she didn't want a paracetamol, can you believe it, we are pumping all that s**t and poison into her and she doesn't want a paracetamol!Now where were we? Lets talk about the chemo shall we?"
That did make me and the husband giggle. Like I said sat night on the blog, she has a great sense of humour.
I like her.
Will update later after the hospital.
Well, it's 6.30pm, I'm home and feeling fine, just a slightly strange taste in my mouth, but so far so good. I'm warm, got my doggy on my lap, I'm not going to think about the tablets I've come home with, the side effects,the wig I need to sort out, the district nurse visits, all the different stages of the treatment cycle, I am going to enjoy THIS evening, right now. I am finally fighting back now, doing all I can. Hope is the word.
