After 3 years of chemotherapy I finally made it to the end of treatment. It was time to celebrate, to crack on with the ‘new normal’ of life, I was finished and I was alive!
Well that’s the theory. The reality, for me, turned out to be somewhat different. So I did party, a perfectly timed joint 50th with my husband was an absolute blast. A week later I was being carted off in an ambulance after ‘fainting’…
One of the cruelest side effects of chemotherapy is hair loss. Your hair is a truly personal thing, part of your identity, so whilst it doesn’t physically hurt to lose it, mentally it can.
I was warned straight away that I would probably lose my hair, not a shock, it’s something that most people associate with cancer, and initially it seemed the least of my problems.
The Marsden funds a free wig for inpatients…
Today marks 979 days since I was diagnosed with leukaemia, a word I still rely on spellchecker to get right for me! In 121 days I will take what I hope will be my last chemo tablets, the end of treatment is nigh.
Why then am I not feeling as excited as everyone else? Well I do still have 2 rounds of ‘quarterly nasties’ to get through. Later this morning I will have an IV of chemo, AKA poison, and start 5 days of steroids…
This summer I had an epiphany, at long last a turning point with a sign post that said ‘living’. My husband and I were going to a wedding, having our first night away without the children in over 2 years, how exciting!
But facing a room full of people is daunting for anybody when you don’t know most of them and those you do are acquaintances you haven’t seen for 30 years. Throw in a chemo inflicted patchy hair…
Since I was diagnosed with leukaemia so many people have told me that I’m ‘really brave’, and whilst I’m touched by their comments, I always dismiss them, I don’t see myself that way. But I wonder if I’m right to be dismissive.
A few weeks before diagnosis I started some online CBT, I was mentally struggling with a long term back problem. I explained how I wasn’t coping with the situation, and questioned how…
