New post, plus could do with some advice

1 minute read time.

I've just posted a new blog post: http://veryyoungwidow.blogspot.com/2011/05/other-people.html

The reason why I've written it is because I'm upset because I feel my housemate is rubbing it in my face that he has an alive girlfriend who can still come and visit him at weekends. Not intentionally I hope, but he didn't even think to ask me if it was ok for her to be here. Honestly I probably would have said no because it hurts to see it; we loved our weekends together and I keep thinking of how I am never going to have moments like that again. 

I know I shouldn't shut people out but he's just being inconsiderate and unfair. I don't want to be friends with him anymore because of the way he's handled me - no acknowledgement of my grief at all, no thoughtful gestures, simple things that the others have done for me but he hasn't. I'm am happy when he's not in the house, I'm miserable when he comes back. He argues with my choice of what to watch onTV, he leaves mess in the kitchen after I've cleaned it, ah stupid little things all the time. 

Sorry about the rant, could do with some guidance if possible please.

Thanks,

Louise xx

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi hun, we lost our FIL in our last year of uni, so know how hard it is.  I have started a blog on blogspot too, and will be following you.  Life will be ridiculously hard for a long time, but you will start to feel better and things will start to hurt less.  Be prepared for it all to creep up on you when you least expect it, but your blog will be a fab place to vent xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Louise,

    Yes I have an answer.Sit him down and have a chat let him know that what he is doing is hurtful especially as he dosent keep you in the picture as to what is going on.

    If he dosent listen. Then try and find yourself a place of your own. Its your home too so if you dont want to leave

    tell him to change his ways and be a bit more understanding... Look after yourself and keep in touch.

    Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hey honey,

    I have been reading your blog since you posted it on here but have been to scared to comment since I don't know you ;)

    IIs it possible he is trying to take your lead? I find that some people don't mention my being ill until I do. I think it is a way of being considerate and trying not to upset me. When I bring it up there is then an audible sigh of relief that I have acknowledged the elephant. Perhaps talking to him would help? Just being frank and saying 'look, this this this and this is pissing me off.'

    He may just be trying to get on as normal rather than making a big thing about it in case he upsets you. Or maybe he is trying not to give you 'special treatment' because he thinks it will annoy you (I hate people who are nicer to me than normal because of illness- I'm still me!) So maybe he is trying to be considerate in his own way?

    On the other hand he may just be an inconsiderate pig ;)

    I hope you start to feel better soon. I know this advice is no good, I know it does nothing to fill that space, to sort out your feelings and it does not fix the root of the problem- that you miss your boyfriend. I am so so sorry that you have had to face this all so young. Lx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Cheers for the advice. I know I should try and pluck up the courage to talk to him about it. I have spoken to my other housemates who will probably mention it, its just awkward now that his girlfriend is here trailing after him everywhere. Will try and talk to him about it soon, I'm sure it will all sort out soon.

    Less than five weeks left of living here, can move back home after my final exam on the 7th June! Can't wait!

    Louise x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Louise,

    All the best and Good Luck with your Final Exam.

    Look afetr yourself.

    Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx