No Title Springs To Mind

  • Dentist, PALS and CT scan booked

    No, I haven't made pals with the dentist - admittedly he was a very nice man and didn't hurt me but still. No - just to say I had my dental examination today and passed with almost flying colours - he had a little whine about nicotine staining and quitting smoking which I promptly ignored. He is happy for me to go ahead with the Denusomab from a dental point of view but I have to see him again in three months to ensure…

    • 17 Sep 2020
  • A delayed update from last Friday - will it post this time?!

    So - the oncologist telephoned again on Friday as promised. He seemed to have no recollection of the previous week's conversation in which he let slip that I also have bone metastases and have had for months. I asked him again "WHICH" bones and this time - he told me he DOESN'T KNOW!  The report just says "multiple".  I had to ask him about the liver mets - fortunately they are stable and the…

    • 17 Sep 2020
  • CT scan results - DEFINITELY parental guidance required here. Swear words aplenty.

    So - I phone the hospital on Tuesday to a) ask why I no longer received copies of all letters that they send to my GP. The receptionist stated that they don't do that - you only receive a treatment plan in the post. This is clearly bollocks - I got a couple and then they inexplicably stopped. The folder they gave me when I was diagnosed this time round had something in it about being entitled to all such correspondence…

    • 8 Sep 2020
  • So - the dreaded telephone appointment: AKA The Forgotten Victims Of Covid

    Set my alarm clock - I knew I would be awake for most of the night and would thus struggle to get up in time for the phone appointment without loud, jangling, mechanical assistance. Gave myself plenty of time for caffeine and nicotine intake before the doctor phoned.

    He phones, right on time. Small talk about Tamoxifen and side effects out of the way, he proceeded to tell me I had had a CT scan in March and it was stable…

    • 28 Aug 2020
  • Still not the last one....

    So on Tuesday this week I had a surreal experience - a CT scan in a portakabin in the hospital car park. I found it hard to keep a straight face as the masked technician s--t--r--e--t--c--h--e--d across to take my temperature before letting me in to his tin box. I wish it could have been captured on video - it must have looked like something out of a scii-fi film - masks, visors, scanners, hand decontamination liquids…

    • 27 Aug 2020
  • Contains strong language. Parental advisory. 18+

    Dear panic buyers,

    So - coronavirus. No hand gel to be had anywhere. People ripping it off the walls in  hospitals. People draining hospital bottles into their own containers. 

    Corona is a VIRUS. Antibacterial gel works on BACTERIA. Some of us actually need the hand gel to be able to go about our daily business without worrying we're going to die from a mild random bug. Some of us have crap immune systems. 

    F**k you…

    • 11 Mar 2020
  • The Penultimate One - where I am now.

    I've explained how I got here so now it seems only fair to tell you where I am now.

    I received a DS1500 form over 12 months ago and am proud to have made it a liar.

    I feel fine. I feel better than I have felt for three years. I have enough hair to style. OK, it's pretty much limited to "Convict" style, but it's there.

    I have a colour in my face and it's not grey.

    My fatigue has more or less…

    • 8 Feb 2020
  • The one before the penultimate one - aka diagnosis

    So now it was the 22nd of January 2019. I arrived at the hospital in plenty of time for my appointment, knowing I would need a good few cigarettes before going in. As it turned out, I only had one - I felt sick and couldn't face another. I made my way to the clinic.

    I could go on for hours about the brashness of the lighting, the annoyance of the receptionist's laugh, the monotonous drone of the daytime TV, the endless…

    • 8 Feb 2020
  • Not quite the penultimate post.....it's getting there, though.

    So, I receive an appointment from the hospital for somewhere around January the 18th. I've forgotten the date and last year's diary is upstairs. I'm comfy here and have a hot cup of tea so you'll have to contain your disappointment at not knowing the exact date. I'm not fetching the diary. It was a Wednesday, I believe, if that helps.....

    I do not receive a gallon of letters cancelling the appointment…

    • 7 Feb 2020
  • Still not the penultimate bit......

    So after a week or so of this bloody painful shoulder and arm, it got to the point where I couldn't walk very far - nothing wrong with my legs - it was my arm. It was too "heavy" for my body. I was walking around with it permanently held up across my chest in the typical sling position. I would have to stop and rest it on random walls and fences as I walked around town. 

    I went to the GP. The GP looked at…

    • 7 Feb 2020
  • Maybe the penultimate bit. I'm not sure yet....

    In this post, what am I now? Probably 44. 

    I had moved on - cancer was a distant memory and hardly ever crossed my mind anymore. I relived it a little when my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer and asked me for my experience of chemotherapy. I told her that my main memory of it was like having a giant headache-less hangover. My brain felt fuzzy, I was tired, nauseous, thirsty. I couldn't think straight. I forgot the odd…

    • 7 Feb 2020
  • Not the penultimate bit

    The surgeon told me at my post op appointment that there had been two tumors, both quite small and both grade 2. She said there was no lymph node involvement. She recommended chemotherapy as a "just in case".  I reluctantly agreed.

    Four rounds of AC later, many bouts of sickness later, many anti sickness tablets later, many hairs lost later and I was finally done with the chemo.

    At another post-chemo appointment…

    • 7 Feb 2020
  • The middle bit

    The middle bit is loooooong and, I'm sure, a familiar tale. I was now 32, and had a mastectomy, lymph node removal and much angst over how this made me feel. I could have done with someone to talk to but was excluded from the support group because "my age might have made the other ladies uncomfortable". 

    I had to make do with leaflets - an abundance of leaflets that I'm sure were helpful to some but not to…

    • 7 Feb 2020
  • How I got here......

    Back in 2003 or so - when I was  just 31 - I found a tiny, painless lump in my left breast. It disappeared the next day so I thought ".....probably hormonal. It's coming up for that time of the month".  I forgot about it for a week.  Suddenly, I got a very brief - lasting a mere second - stabbing pain in my breast. It felt like being stabbed with a needle thin razor. It went as quickly as it came.

    That night…

    • 7 Feb 2020