I find it worrying the good ‘people’ in my life have not had long lives. Sandra 52, Martine 58, my Dad 72, mum who is on the brink now only 78 and daisy should have had another 3 to 4 years not just the 9 she had. But then I think of those blessings they all gave to me and just wonder at how marvellous they all have been for me. I worry about my new wonderful partner and constantly watch for signs of something bad illness that is going to take her away from me. I feel I am here to care for people, but it is getting very draining to have to watch them struggle and pass away before their time. And the unfairness of these wonderful people having their lives cut short when there are so many old rotters out there! When Martine died a neighbour said to me they world needs more Martinez’s, not less’. So true. But these are fleeting thoughts. I am here with another wonderful person, I have a wonderful life, I’m alive and must and will make the most of every precious moment. So it’s not a bad thing to occasionally get sad about my lost loves, it makes me quickly realise how lucky I am to be me, not in a big headed ‘what a great guy I am way’, more how blessed I have been when so many are not!
