Okay . . . so for anyone who has been suffering the wait with me in my recent blog posts, for my husband's MRI results . . . here's the latest.
Last night we were STILL waiting for the results from this past Tuesday's MRI of my husband's left knee. We were pretty sure the results were going to be good news, as it was taking so long to get them; but one never knows, does one? We've had it go both ways in the past . . . thinking no news was good news but then finding out, "Not so much." So we didn't know what to think; especially because when we last met with the oncologist on November 7th, we reminded her of our past unfortunate experiences these many years with the medical profession and she seemed to finally understand more of our painful story. Although, she has yet to find the time or the desire to listen to it all in detail. I think she would like to, as it plays better than any full-length movie or novel. When we see her we realize she has many other patients to see whenever we venture there; but, it is a story that deserves the telling AND the listening. It's so complex and so unbelievable, few can spend the kind of time it would take to listen to it; but, in order for anyone to understand what we've both been through . . . they need to take the time and have the interest. It's been a long, long, sad, scary, journey; many times, sadly, bringing my poor Terry to death's door. He's survived it so far, thank God . . . but, really? For pity's sake, even after a cancer diagnosis and the treatment that followed with some of the most potent chemotherapy around, we have to sit in a room with the doctors we are expected to trust and condense it all down to a mere few sentences that, in no way, even begin to describe the hell we've lived? Then, be told they will make sure to share that information with their staff and others involved with his care so they can better understand how we feel and how we expect expediency in the future with information that offers the only relief that can come from reassurances we are not facing MORE cancer or any one of the very possible late-effects from the very things they used to put him into remission? To encounter the type of apathy and disregard we have these past weeks . . . well, it was simply too much and pushed us over the edge.
Sorry . . . I know. I know. Run-on sentences and verbose posts are what I'm known for.
On to those results, right?
Okay . . . . so out of frustration after Terry's failure to get through to the oncologist's office when he called, he tried again this morning and finally was put through to her nurse who told him, "NO CANCER!" Yayyyy, right? Obviously, we are happy to finally know at least that much. He, however, didn't pay close enough attention to finding out though what, exactly, has been wrong. Apparently, he remembered the nurse mentioning something about a "traumatic injury to his tibia", which is so odd because he didn't injure it in any way . . . We'll find out more when they finally get around to sending us the written results. But, again, to use the excuse the doctor was too "busy" to let us know even those two words, "NO CANCER" before this . . . was merely adding insult to injury, as far as not (apparently) truly understanding the kind of stress we've been suffering these past four days or, obviously, not passing our "story" on to her staff in a way that, at least, would initiate a phone call or a short message explaining anything to us to alleviate some of that worry.
We WERE offered the opportunity . . . FINALLY . . . after all these many years and after his cancer diagnosis last year, the chance to meet with someone they said now worked with cancer patients, which was not the case when we (sadly) had to try and find ways to "cope" on our own. So, we set something up for this coming Monday but after this last go'round with the broken system we've been forced to deal with these past years of anguish . . . we just decided we probably wouldn't be treated any differently after; and have to take yet even more precious benefit time for appointments we just can't afford to waste. Things are much, much different over here in the States in that regard; and having been, yet again, treated so unacceptably after all we've been through . . . . we've literally HAD it!
Through all of this . . . I / we have found our own way to survive it (more on that in my next blog) . . . but it hasn't come easily . . . a lot of tears shed and a lot of sleepless nights (more on that, too, the next time I post something). But we HAVE survived and that's what matters, right?
Sorry. I shall have to leave it there for the moment.
Writing / talking about it all helps so much and I am so grateful for finding this forum to "vent". Everyone here has been so kind. I just hope my "gushing" has helped . . . will help others.
Til next time . . .
