Today here on the Community News we wanted to share with you the final volume of our series ‘My journey through breast cancer in verse and word’ by Amanda-Jayne. Amanda-Jayne was diagnosed with Breast cancer in June 2019 and used poetry and journaling to diarise her experience throughout. Amanda-Jayne has very kindly sent through her poetry and writing to us here and we are pleased to have brought you this series detailing her experience. In her writing Amanda-Jayne talks openly about her thoughts and feelings through diagnosis and treatment. If you missed the last volume of Amanda-Jayne’s blog, click here to catch up.
21st August 2019
Life is good, getting a bit bored being at home but am still healing internally so need to be patient and rest and allow this to happen. Two more weeks and I start radiotherapy. I am doing ok and even though I am cancer free I still am fearful of it coming back which I know I need to learn to live with, I have to be positive make the most of every day and just live my life to the full. So many people have said that I have been so brave and strong the way I have coped with it all and such an inspiration to so many.
"I don't feel brave, I've had to get on with it and do as the Drs said and put my trust in them to heal me."
I don’t feel brave I had to get on with it and do as the Dr’s said and place my trust in them to heal me, my faith is what is getting me through. I have a wonderful heavenly father who loves me and is the one that brought my healing, without Him in my life I would never have got through this, he carried me through the really tough times and brought me through and I know He will bring me through the radiotherapy and hormone tablets, I just have to keep on trusting Him.
18th September 2019
First session of Radiotherapy done, didn’t feel a thing it was painless, the radiographers were wonderful and really put me at ease, have been very anxious about it but I now know I can get through this, there is still a long road ahead but I need to take one day at a time and just get through each day as it comes.
"The Radiographers were wonderful and really put me at ease."
26th September 2019
Session 7 and now I am really feeling it, am a bit sore and swollen and experiencing sharp shooting pains in my breast, feeling very tired now too and need to sleep more, the radiographers again have been amazing and reassured me this is all normal and that I am doing really well. Felt very down yesterday and felt I could not face anymore sessions but feel more positive today. I can do this, I need to stay strong and get better my husband needs me and so does my family and friends.
"You don't have to face this alone, Macmillan and Breast cancer now have wonderful nurses at the end of the phone."
I am so fortunate that I am still here and alive, it’s not easy and I still have a way to go but with God’s help I can do this and get through it. You don’t have to face this alone, Macmillan Cancer Support and Breast Cancer Care both have wonderful nurses at the end of the phone and they really care and listen giving you great advice and understanding. They have really helped me to get through the last few months.
Radiotherapy and me
I sit with my newfound friends
The same time every day
Then off to the changing room
I slowly make my way
Stripping off put on a gown
With my basket in hand,
Taken to the treatment room
Where soon I will be scanned
Once on the rock – hard table
Radiographers fight,
To get me in position
They need to get it right
So, I lay there with my hands
Raised up above my head,
As the machine sweeps round me
Motionless on the bed.
All alone with the scanner
I stare at ceiling, wall,
The radiotherapy
Is not painful at all.
But once it is all over
You will find the worse thing,
Is several hours later
Tiredness will kick in.
So, I sleep for an hour
Wake up and exercise
Then a little later on
It’s time to moisturise.
Day after day it’s so hard
To face it and get through,
But soon I will be better
My body good as new.
14th October 2019
I did it, my final session of radiotherapy is over. Feeling tired and sore but so relieved that I made it through. Now to move on start taking the hormone tablets and get on with living my life. It’s hard to think what I shall do now that I don’t have to go daily to hospital for treatment. I am so blessed to have had amazing family and friends and the greatest surgeons, nurses, radiographers, oncologists and reception staff.
It has been a long few months but I made it, the cancer is gone and I have a second chance.
My advice to you if you are facing this too is to never give up, keep positive and fight on through, even when you feel totally exhausted remember as my husband said to me, you are a warrior and you can do this.
Bright future ahead
Now radiotherapy has finished
Into the future I must go,
My heart fills with fear will it
Return, I just don’t know.
I am not the same person
As I was when this began
It’s time for me to now move on
But I don’t know if I can.
I need to remain positive
I’m alive, my future’s bright,
A second chance ahead of me
And I’m going to be alright.
I must take each day that comes
Make the most of every one,
Fill them with the things I love
Leave nothing left undone.
Treasure every moment daily
Move on with head held high,
Breast cancer has been overcome
It’s now with joy I cry.
If you are on this journey
Feeling tired out and blue,
Be strong, for you can do this
A great victory waits for you.
We want to thank Amanda-Jayne for sharing her story with us over the past few months. Poetry can be a really powerful way of expressing yourself, and if you have any poetry that you want to share with the Community on any subject, we have a group called ‘Express yourself’ where you can share anything you have created.
