'The outcome is still unknown but I am glad that I don't have to face this ordeal all alone' - My journey through Breast cancer in verse and word - Vol 1

Today we are really pleased to welcome a new guest blogger for the Community News, Amanda-Jayne. Amanda-Jayne was diagnosed with Breast cancer in June 2019 and used poetry and journaling to diarise her experience throughout. Amanda-Jayne has very kindly sent through her poetry and writing to us here and we are going to be sharing it with you over the next few weeks. So, here is volume one of Amanda- Jayne’s journey through breast cancer in verse and word.

                   Amanda-Jayne with her husband Tristan, and parents in law, Sharron and David.

Just a little while ago

tinker came to stay,

Hope she doesn’t get comfy

Wish she would go away.

She sits there just beneath my skin

Knows there’s nothing I can do,

She can’t hide from the doctors

For her they’ll see right through.

The worst is that it’s cancer

At best a harmful cyst,

I’m ready but I’m also scared

My life veiled in a mist.

Emotions soar and plummet

Can’t move on my life on pause,

If I could just fast forward to the

Tests find out the cause.

On the outside I’m smiling bravely

Inside I’m shaking with fear,

Just longing to hear from doctors

That yes, I have the all clear.

It’s so hard not to worry when

The outcome is still unknown,

But I am glad that I don’t have

To face this ordeal all alone.

Today I was diagnosed with breast cancer, very shocked, feel like I have been punched and kicked in the stomach at the same time. I suppose I knew it might be, but still stunned to find out it is. Never felt so alone and scared, I know I’m in God’s hands but still anxious. Never thought this would happen to me, my head is spinning with all the info I have been given. My breast care nurse is lovely, she helped me calm down and explained a lot of things.

Cancer, a word I never thought

Would be connected to me,

My mind spun and my body shook

But surely it couldn’t be.

Fear gripped both heart and stomach

I wanted to shout and scream,

For in that moment my life

Felt torn apart at the seam.

Surgery next to remove

lump and lymph node, but what pain,

So many questions, will I

Ever be the same again?

So much information my

Nurse has just given to me,

Struggling to take it all in

And the way ahead to see.

We want to thank Amanda-Jayne for sharing her story with us, we will be sharing more of her poetry and journal entries over the next few weeks. Poetry can be a really powerful way of expressing yourself, and if you have any poetry that you want to share with the Community on any subject, we have a group called Express yourself’ where you can share anything you have created